Irene's Mental Health

[Memphis]

Possibly a thread already on this subject but I wanted to share something with you.

I tend to keep things pretty tongue in cheek here, I dont give away much, but I'll tell you about my day today purely because I think it's had a profound effect on me and hopefully the way I interact with or treat others. Maybe someone else can take something from it?

My son's learning to drive at the moment so he's doing as much driving as he can with me reluctantly in the passenger seat for my sins. So today he starts work at 6am, we arrive at 5.45, he jumps out for work, I make my way around the car to the driver seat to piss off home and grab an hours worth of Z's before I have to go to work.

Just as Im about to get in I hear a feint 'excuse me'. I turn to see an old woman who's easily in her 70's, what she later told me would make her 86 years old. She asked me if I know where I am, I say yes I do, more importantly do you know where you are, she said no. I asked her if she was OK, she said no, no Im not. I'm no expert on mental health but I knew straight away what kind of ballpark we were in and I immediately felt crushed for this old lady who I'd never met before. It was literally like someone had reached inside my skin and was twisting at my insides. I dont think I'll ever forget her face, or the fear in her eyes.

I took her inside where my son works and got reception to get her a cup of tea. She tells me how afraid she is, she was out exploring and now doesn't know where she is. She says she has children but they live far away, she tells me her address, but gives several so I cant be sure, despite living in Bristol for pretty much all my life my local geography skills are appalling and none of the places she mentions sound familiar. She says she has been out for several hours. She was cold and tired. I was supposed to be doing the right thing for this poor old woman, I was supposed be looking after her but it all kind of happened in a haze, I couldn't help but think what if that was my Mum wandering around not knowing where she is but knowing she has something wrong in her brain and she cant help herself. I also couldn't help but think what if some horrible cunt had got hold of her, then Im wondering just how badly I'd hurt this fictional person who's hurt this sweet old lady, proper bonkers.

She asks me to look in her purse because she cant answer some of the questions I asked. She had no money, no bank card, no ID other than a store card. Her name is Irene

Eventually the police turn up. One of them was female, Irene is far more comfortable talking to her than she is the male officer. Im still a bit all over the place but..... I do have to work and she is now in the best hands so I decide to leave. She begs me to stay, says she feels unsafe and starts to cry. She asks me what time Im coming back. Now, Im no show off, Im not saying this to garner man point or anything like that, but Im a proper hard cunt in just about any way you care to measure it. But I'll tell you this for nothing, she reduced me to rubble with a few mumbled confused words.

I cant help wondering what will happen to this woman. I've got no right over her, we're not related so as much as I want to know that she is OK, got home safely wherever that may be and will go on to get the care she clearly needs, I just dont know and it's none of my business. I did the best I could and Im not sure there was much else I could do, even if I had hung around for longer I eventually would have been removed from the picture. I still feel like I let her down to a degree. She begged me to stay and I couldn't.

I guess my point to this ramble is two fold. I know people with depression, anxiety disorders, mental illness isn't a stranger to me, but nothing prepared me to deal with this when it was dropped in my lap. Essentially she was an old dear who needed some help, but her condition changed the landscape entirely. I kept her safe, made sure she was warm and had a hot drink, but I was out of my depth.

A secondary thought I had was you lot funnily enough and the way you are treating one another, especially over something as serious as your health. Like everyone else I'm more than happy to give and receive a verbal kicking in the name of having a giggle, but lets not forget, behind the keyboard lies real life and sometimes, it's proper shit. Logging onto Saddo's for a bit of banter might be as good as it gets for some people some days.

By all means disagree, disagree all you like, but I think there are boundaries being crossed. If you find yourself getting into verbals with someone, fill your boots, argue your case until you're blue in the face. But if you find yourself homing in on a particular user, or group of users out of obligation rather than a clearly defined difference of opinion, you should probably knock it on the head and ask yourself if there's something more productive you could be doing with your time right?

I dont want to sound all Jerry Springer but.... Be a bit nicer to one another.

Box on gents.

[brocktonblockbust]

nice work M. You did the right thing and it shows you are a caring person. That lady obviously had dementia, Alzheimers, or even a mini-stroke causing disorientation. You are a caring man and I hope Irene gets the care she needs now. What part of Jolly Ol' was this? YES I AGREE WITH YOU, LETS TREAT EACH OTHER NICER. STOP THE NAME CALLING. GOOD POINT.

yes we have the hourly cases like Irene here, as there are 17 million people in my city, we are utterly numb to this stuff now, schizophrenics, schizoidals, demented, drug addicts, alcoholics, bums, hobos, meth heads, whores, crack heads, heroin addicts, schizotypal personality disorders, senile, Dementia, wandering lost Alzheimer people, Tourettes so bad its beyond frightening, etc etc I must encounter 50 people PER DAY ----- PER DAY -------- right in front of me, right next to me, sitting right next to me on the subways, laying underneathh my bench, on subway and train platforms, IN NEW YORK CITY IT IS ENDLESS, I MEAN ENDLESS, AD INFINITUM, CONSTANT, INCESSANT, NON-STOP, OVERWHELMING, NUMBERLESS, WE HAVE 2,750,000 MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK, IN WORDS THAT IS TWO MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY THOUSAND. BEYOND NUMBING, BEYOND OVERKILL, IT DOES NOT REGISTER IN OUR MINDS ANYMORE. SORRY TO SAY. COME HERE AND SEE. SEEIN' IS BELIEVIN'.

Sorry to say, we step right over them and run to catch our subways.

[Gandalf]

Nice work Memphis. Yep, it's about time we had more civility on the forum. I will keep my word, but good luck muzzling potty mouth though! 😀

[brocktonblockbust]

Nice work Memphis. Yep, it's about time we had more civility on the forum. I will keep my word, but good luck muzzling potty mouth though! 😀

Like I told Memphis, great work and God Bless old Irene.

[Fenster]

Memphis, sorry for this corny cunt post, but as someone that currently "looks after" an old girl with dementia (pick's disease), who isn't allowed out on her own anymore (for doing an Irene on several occasions) and can't live on her own without a so-called "carer." Thanks. Unfortunately not everyone is so considerate around "mad" "annoying" fossils.

[TitoFan]

Possibly a thread already on this subject but I wanted to share something with you.

I tend to keep things pretty tongue in cheek here, I dont give away much, but I'll tell you about my day today purely because I think it's had a profound effect on me and hopefully the way I interact with or treat others. Maybe someone else can take something from it?

My son's learning to drive at the moment so he's doing as much driving as he can with me reluctantly in the passenger seat for my sins. So today he starts work at 6am, we arrive at 5.45, he jumps out for work, I make my way around the car to the driver seat to piss off home and grab an hours worth of Z's before I have to go to work.

Just as Im about to get in I hear a feint 'excuse me'. I turn to see an old woman who's easily in her 70's, what she later told me would make her 86 years old. She asked me if I know where I am, I say yes I do, more importantly do you know where you are, she said no. I asked her if she was OK, she said no, no Im not. I'm no expert on mental health but I knew straight away what kind of ballpark we were in and I immediately felt crushed for this old lady who I'd never met before. It was literally like someone had reached inside my skin and was twisting at my insides. I dont think I'll ever forget her face, or the fear in her eyes.

I took her inside where my son works and got reception to get her a cup of tea. She tells me how afraid she is, she was out exploring and now doesn't know where she is. She says she has children but they live far away, she tells me her address, but gives several so I cant be sure, despite living in Bristol for pretty much all my life my local geography skills are appalling and none of the places she mentions sound familiar. She says she has been out for several hours. She was cold and tired. I was supposed to be doing the right thing for this poor old woman, I was supposed be looking after her but it all kind of happened in a haze, I couldn't help but think what if that was my Mum wandering around not knowing where she is but knowing she has something wrong in her brain and she cant help herself. I also couldn't help but think what if some horrible cunt had got hold of her, then Im wondering just how badly I'd hurt this fictional person who's hurt this sweet old lady, proper bonkers.

She asks me to look in her purse because she cant answer some of the questions I asked. She had no money, no bank card, no ID other than a store card. Her name is Irene

Eventually the police turn up. One of them was female, Irene is far more comfortable talking to her than she is the male officer. Im still a bit all over the place but..... I do have to work and she is now in the best hands so I decide to leave. She begs me to stay, says she feels unsafe and starts to cry. She asks me what time Im coming back. Now, Im no show off, Im not saying this to garner man point or anything like that, but Im a proper hard cunt in just about any way you care to measure it. But I'll tell you this for nothing, she reduced me to rubble with a few mumbled confused words.

I cant help wondering what will happen to this woman. I've got no right over her, we're not related so as much as I want to know that she is OK, got home safely wherever that may be and will go on to get the care she clearly needs, I just dont know and it's none of my business. I did the best I could and Im not sure there was much else I could do, even if I had hung around for longer I eventually would have been removed from the picture. I still feel like I let her down to a degree. She begged me to stay and I couldn't.

I guess my point to this ramble is two fold. I know people with depression, anxiety disorders, mental illness isn't a stranger to me, but nothing prepared me to deal with this when it was dropped in my lap. Essentially she was an old dear who needed some help, but her condition changed the landscape entirely. I kept her safe, made sure she was warm and had a hot drink, but I was out of my depth.

A secondary thought I had was you lot funnily enough and the way you are treating one another, especially over something as serious as your health. Like everyone else I'm more than happy to give and receive a verbal kicking in the name of having a giggle, but lets not forget, behind the keyboard lies real life and sometimes, it's proper shit. Logging onto Saddo's for a bit of banter might be as good as it gets for some people some days.

By all means disagree, disagree all you like, but I think there are boundaries being crossed. If you find yourself getting into verbals with someone, fill your boots, argue your case until you're blue in the face. But if you find yourself homing in on a particular user, or group of users out of obligation rather than a clearly defined difference of opinion, you should probably knock it on the head and ask yourself if there's something more productive you could be doing with your time right?

I dont want to sound all Jerry Springer but.... Be a bit nicer to one another.

Box on gents.

I normally don't read posts this long, but I'm glad I did. A very human, very touching, very real post. You did very well there, Memphis. What any decent human being would've done. I agree 100% with your message, which is why I tend to stay away from arguments where personal health is involved. As Lyle said in another post, we all know each other only through the keyboard, although many times I've thought about how wonderful it would be if we all met each other personally. A natural way to feel, I think, after sharing thought after thought for (in my case) over 12 years of my life. All in all one of the better and more meaningful posts I've read in all my time here.

I myself don't share much about my personal life, as Lyle also said, and that's by choice. It's not a position I feel comfortable putting myself into. However, like everyone else I'm sure, I too have suffered my own personal ups and downs and even tragic events. All in all I feel very fortunate and very blessed. Unlike many here, I do have faith in God, and make no bones about my beliefs, just like I respect all other beliefs. I'm constantly astounded by the amount of intelligence here on this forum, just because in other places you never get the quality of banter, be it about politics, life, or whatever, that you get here.

Thanks for sharing that with us. Age hits us all differently. It's shameful that many in our society still do not have enough compassion and self-awareness to do what is right by our elderly. Thanks again.

[brocktonblockbust]

Tito has really done well here to illuminate the lack of compassion in our society today. What Is difficult/next to impossible it really becomes almost in a Super Megalopolis like Rio or Delhi or Dhakka or NYC. ITS LIKE A HUMAN TSUNAMI IN THE MILLIONS OF ALZHEIMERS/SCHIZO'S/HOMELESS.

there just ain't enough compassion/time/money to go around.

[Batman]

I blame @Master for the bad feeling people have towards each other, he doesn't get involved directly but he orchestrates it all with his little mod fingers.

Good post by the way, good on you for looking after her, I remember when I tried to look after a girl who was out of her mind on drugs, she was trying to throw herself in front of busses and shit, when the police arrived they accused me of first of all trying to take advantage of her then of being the one who gave her the drugs and then of being her pimp. At that point I decided to be more careful when deciding who I help in the future.

[brocktonblockbust]

I blame @Master for the bad feeling people have towards each other, he doesn't get involved directly but he orchestrates it all with his little mod fingers.

Good post by the way, good on you for looking after her, I remember when I tried to look after a girl who was out of her mind on drugs, she was trying to throw herself in front of busses and shit, when the police arrived they accused me of first of all trying to take advantage of her then of being the one who gave her the drugs and then of being her pimp. At that point I decided to be more careful when deciding who I help in the future.

Fuck I called for Master to be banned 4 times in the past 36 hours but Saddo/Andre just keep letting him slide.

[Batman]

I blame @Master for the bad feeling people have towards each other, he doesn't get involved directly but he orchestrates it all with his little mod fingers.

Good post by the way, good on you for looking after her, I remember when I tried to look after a girl who was out of her mind on drugs, she was trying to throw herself in front of busses and shit, when the police arrived they accused me of first of all trying to take advantage of her then of being the one who gave her the drugs and then of being her pimp. At that point I decided to be more careful when deciding who I help in the future.

Fuck I called for Master to be banned 4 times in the past 36 hours but Saddo/Andre just keep letting him slide.

He's a menace, pure and simple.

[brocktonblockbust]

I blame @Master for the bad feeling people have towards each other, he doesn't get involved directly but he orchestrates it all with his little mod fingers.

Good post by the way, good on you for looking after her, I remember when I tried to look after a girl who was out of her mind on drugs, she was trying to throw herself in front of busses and shit, when the police arrived they accused me of first of all trying to take advantage of her then of being the one who gave her the drugs and then of being her pimp. At that point I decided to be more careful when deciding who I help in the future.

Fuck I called for Master to be banned 4 times in the past 36 hours but Saddo/Andre just keep letting him slide.

He's a menace, pure and simple.

He put the "wolf" in Wolverhampton.

[El Kabong]

I just wonder if at any point @Memphis said....."Now, come on Irene"

[Beanz]

Eileen

[El Kabong]

Sooooooo......









.....yup

[walrus]

Good on you. Dementia of any kind is a horrible thing. I'm dealing with it in my family now. It is frightening and I'm glad you had the opportunity to do something kind for someone who will never be able to repay you, those are amongst our finest moments