In honor of my 1000th post, I will now tell about the trip to ohio

[Punisher136]

brings back painful memories but oh well here it goes

I assure you everything you are about to hear is real and actually happened several years ago i will however leave the names of certain things for obvious reasons.

The trip took place because we had to pick my friend up from an airport in ohio because his dad saved $20 by having the return trip there instead of a couple hundred miles closer in pittsburgh. The trip to drop him off there was a nightmare we got lost constantly anyway onto to feature presentation.

We embarked on our journey at noon. I didn't sleep the night before which turned out to be a good thing because i'd be able to sleep thru the boring parts. The whole trip could be sumed up with an event that happened before the car was even turned on to begin the trip. While we were getting in the car, one of my friends that went along with us said (i swear to you) "Are we there yet?". Since i had not slept the night before i figured now would be a good time to rest up because by now we should know the directions pretty well. I brought my gameboy too just incase the trip would for some reason get boring. I wake up a little while later to the driver saying "I think i took a wrong turn" and i opened my eyes to see a town that i've never seen before and confirmed that we had somehow messed up getting there again. After driving around for a few minutes we decided to stop at a restuarant located under the freeway.

In the parking lot of said restuarant we look up and see one of those huge 6-7 foot green signs that has our destination on it, so atleast we know where we are going now. In side the restuarant i order second out of 4 people and they completely forget my order. I re order my food and they bring me out my drink. i again reorder and now they only bring out fries. I re order a third time and finally have everything. While eating i looking outside the window and see a deserted UPS truck in the middle of a parking lot (it looks like it has been sitting there for quite some time). One of my friends ordered a kids meal that came with a toy that makes a clicking noise everytime you hit the button on it (it was a volcano quiz thing).

So we leave the restuarant and as we're pulling out of the parking lot i accidentally crush my drink and it pours all over me (ice cold code red mountain dew for the record) so i basically have very cold and very wet pants for the several hour trip ahead of me. At this point i hold my gameboy up against the passenger airbag door hoping that we accidentally hit something and it goes flying into my face at upwards of 200 mph. So after a few pitstops, a couple thousand clicks of the volcano toy, and some boring stretches of road, we end up at the airport.

We were there about 30 mins b4 his flight was due to come in so we decided to stop in one of the eating places there and get a light lunch (its approx. 4pm now). Now i need to flashback to when we first dropped my friend off at this airport a month ago and we were eating at the exact same place. While everyone was eating i caught something out of the corner of my eye. It was one of the waitors way back in the place and i swear to you he was the most flambouyant openly gay man i have ever seen in my life. (At this point i say to myself "Glad he wasn't our waitor because i'd probably laugh" i will note here that i did not knock on wood after interally saying said comment).

So we're sitting at our table and here he comes to be our waitor. (Brief description: not much more than 100 pounds. Mostly bald except for a single emo flip in the front that was slicked back giving him a quail like look. He had eye make-up, cheek blush, and mascara on.) I can't even look at him because hes so ridiculous. So the kid that said "are we there yet" and the one who clicked the volcano toy a few thousand times on the drive there orders first. He orders (again i swear to you i am not making this up) a fruit smoothie and a tossed salad. For those of you not keeping score let me add it up for you: Extremely gay male waitor + order of a fruit smoothie and a tossed salad = the most awkward moment of my life. The driver orders then my other friend orders and i didn't care what he ordered i was only gonna be able to say "same thing". He could've ordered anything and thats all i would've said.

After he walked away with our orders i named him quail man so at this point nobody could look at him with a straight face (no pun intended). We got our food and then laughed histerically but quietly after he left. My friend flight comes in we pick him up and we head home. i slept thru most of the trip home (which for some reason was twice as long as the trip there) As we crossed the ohio/pa border we had a discussion and agreed that the only thing lamer in the world than the 22 yr old dude that hung out with us when we were 16 was in fact the state of ohio and to this day, i hate all ohio sports franchises (amatuer and pro), and anything else that has to do with the state.

The End.

[Von Milash]

didn't read it. too long. can i get the cliff notes?

[Punisher136]

just break down and read it, i actually had to live the thing.

[Von Milash]

fuck, by the length of it, we're practically living it too.

[Punisher136]

thats the shortened version, i left stuff out

[Von Milash]

ok, I read it. I kept waiting for the good part. But it never came.

So, you got shit service, spilled a pop on yourself, your friend's a faggot and your other friend's old man is the cheapest son of a bitch ever?

That about sum it up?

[Punisher136]

that was the worst 12 hours of my life. you did read about the airport restuarant right?

ordering a "fruit" smoothie and a "tossed salad" in front of a gay waiter is like a sitcom joke. That stuffs not supposed to happen in real life.

[Punisher136]

if thats not enough for you to hate ohio here's two more facts. Its the state solely responsible for bush's re-election and the place where dimebag darryl (great guitar player) was killed.

[Tito BHB]

if thats not enough for you to hate ohio here's two more facts. Its the state solely responsible for bush's re-election and the place where dimebag darryl (great guitar player) was killed.

Cc for the thousand posts and for bieng a pantera fan

[Punisher136]

i didnt start this thread for the cc's just figured it would be a good time to post the trip to ohio that p4p wanted to know about.

[amat]

Wait....a gay waiter and you getting lost is the reason Ohio is the worst state in the Nation?

[Punisher136]

you had to be there to completely understand it trust me everyone who went on the trip hates the state.

[CutMeMick]

Am I missing something

[Punisher136]

maybe i should add that i really dont like very openly gay men

[Punisher136]

Ok now that i'm awake i'm gonna explain a few things:

First of all, i really don't care if you liked the story or not. If you found parts of it funny or it gave you an understanding of why i hate ohio good for you. If you didn't, i wasted a few minutes of your life that you will never get back that could've been spent with friends and family so when you're on your deathbed wishing you had a few more minutes remember where they went. :P