Has ANYYY of you ever had to do this...

[Dizaster]

I can't believe i'm going to post this.. In fact, I can't believe it even happened and if I saw someone else doing this, I would totally freak the fuck out at it's bizarreness.. In fact i've even seen it on movies and never believed that it could actually be something of reality... But here was how it happened..


I heated up some Pizza on Saturday from Friday night and I think it was no good.. I put it in the fridge a bit late Friday night and I guess something about it was off.. I had the runs on Saturday night, Sunday, and once during work on Monday.. I'm like, okay fine, when I had to go, I had to go.. I always had toilets around and wasn't to worried... However there wasn't much warning, and this was a violent need to go.. There was maybe 15 seconds max between when I feel the need to go, and "oh shit, it's coming out right now!!", regardless of whether i'm on a toilet or not..


Monday night I was out meeting a friend.. I was parked on the side of the street still waiting for him, and all of a sudden, BANG, I got the need to shit.. BAD... I thought that I could hold on, it got worse over the course of seconds.. I got out of the car and tried standing... But I realised after about 5 seconds,,, this shit is coming out... NOW!!!! I remembered there was a park/reserve one block away in the middle of the housing and I knew right then and there I had no choice but to get there and shit right on the grass.. I jumped in the car, started, and headed straight down a street I thought went toward the park.. It was a court/close... I knew I honestly had about 10 more seconds before I was going to shit my pants.. Literally... I knew, I would not make it to the park! This was urgent.... really fucking urgent..
I looked around for the house with the most easily accessable front lawn with the most tree/bush cover for me to shit on.. There was none! Trust me, this is not normal for me!! All I was thinking is, this is totally fucked what I may have to do in a few second....
But thank fucking GOD I saw an empty block that actually backed onto another court.... I ripped on the breaks of the car, jumped out, ran about 15 yards into the spare block, ripped my pants of and exploded onto this dirt footpath that went through the empty block... It was horrible!! I felt like an animal! I was squating like a rabbid dog against a fence in the dirt and grass backing onto people's houses,,, shitting... with my bare ass aimed at the ground.. A full grown adult..
I hadn't even thought of how I was going to have to wipe my ass... I don't even want to say now, but I have to tell the whole story... I took my shorts and boxers off and had to wipe my ass with my boxers... Here I am standing in dusk 8pm light with no pants on in the middle of a residential zone.. I prayed to god no one was watching me thinking I was some perv.. No pants on... I wipped, through away my boxers, and put my shorts back on and left feeling on top of the world compared to the agony I went through moments earlier..


Please please please tell me SOMEONE has been caught with the runs in a place where there was no toilet... I mean, I had to fucking go.. I could shit my pants, or I could shit on the ground in the middle of a street... I had no choice... Thank GOD for that spare block, otherwise I would have been exploding onto someone's front garden, or footpath, or in the curb.... It was coming out though...

[CGM]

damn Diz, why does this always happen to you? First it was, chocolate on your nose, then late for work cause you can't stay away from Saddo's, and now you have to shit in public.

It's never happened to me like that, but it happened to a buddy of mine I was with. We were right downtown. He just ducked into a doorway and went for it. I had to stand right in front of him to block the view of the passersby. Luckily it was late, and not that many people. I gave him a real bad time over it, but he sure wasn't laughing,

[CutMeMick]

Diz...

As god as my witness it's 12:04 am here and I'm laughing like a fucken maniac I'm crying here... My eyes got watery and I can't stop laughing.



my fav. part...

"It was horrible!! I felt like an animal! I was squating like a rabbid dog against a fence in the dirt and grass backing onto people's houses,,, shitting... with my bare ass aimed at the ground.. A full grown adult..
I hadn't even thought of how I was going to have to wipe my ass... I don't even want to say now, but I have to tell the whole story... I took my shorts and boxers off and had to wipe my ass with my boxers... Here I am standing in dusk 8pm light with no pants on in the middle of a residential zone.. I prayed to god no one was watching me thinking I was some perv.. No pants on"

[CutMeMick]

Fucken Diz, I just woke up my girl with my laughter...
She's pissed off now..

[Andre]

Youre a classic Diz .

Ive done simular.

I got caught by a few mates spewing up and shitting all at the same time one night out the side of a party at the Carrum downs hall.

[yvonne]

I had a mate who once had a big dirty crap inside a golf hole.I think it was on hole number 9 on my local golf course.I was laughing my bollocks off when he turned around to me and said,"Mate,im dying to have a shit!"The golf course was right in the middle of nowhere and as we being daft young kids(Me and him where little bastards when we were kids,we really were a hand full)i laughted and said to him,"I dare you to have a big dirty shit in the golf hole!"and he looked at me and laughted and said,"Why not,it'll be funny"and he pulled down his trousers and had a shite in the hole and wipe his arse on leaves.We were about 9 year old at the time.It was sooo funny!He is in prison now though,he was a crazy fucker and never changedHe went into some heavy shit when he got older,,lucky for me i got out of the kind of things he got into.Funny as fook though.Me and me other mate's have mentioned about that time a few times and all end up on our backs laughing soo hard.Great times.We got up to all kinds of mad things.I look back and think,,"Gee,,i cant believe some of the things we used to do for fun."Some of the things we used to do could of killed us.I count meself lucky to be alive really!!!