Signs that you are getting older

[Gandalf]

I do feel as though my body is starting to give up on me. I had an uneven abdomen checked at hospital and the doctor thinks it is nothing to worry about, but it looks odd and surely my body is now giving up on me. I believe that I am gradually taking on all the physical qualities of John Merrick and I don't say that lightly. From face to waist, there are things that might never have been perfect but are looking weirder as I reach my mid 30's. I think I need a second opinion and an internal scan to amount for the moderate mass differential in my abdomen, if just for my own piece of mind. The doctor was simply pressing on me for any pain, but you can't test for cancers like like that. Plus I am someone that doesn't seem to see pain as others do in the physical sense.

I guess it is back to the big hospital and more checks. Now I've let a man fondle my balls, I guess I have no boundaries. That must be a sign of getting older.

Wait till you get a bit older and they start putting things up your jaxie. I wouldn't worry about not being symmetrical none of us are. Your mid thirties aren't really even middle aged mate. You will know when your body starts giving up on you.

I went to a second doctor and he seemed to think it was nothing too. He thinks I am approaching middle age and am thus slipping. The youthful days of abandon and year after year of 32 inch jeans is over. However, I am going to have a CT scan tomorrow. I think doctors look at you and just think 'He looks young and isn't rolling in fat...nowt wrong with him'. I have a Dorian Gray thing going on though and there has to be a lot of stuff hidden away and I just want it checked. If there is damage, I can adapt. If there isn't then, I can relax. You have to do the checks though. It looks different and feels different and I don't understand it, but I also don't understand where my fat has come from either. Why largely that side? The way I lay? The way I sit? The way I punch the bag? I don't see it. To most it would seem like nothing, but I am vain. The doctor dismissed the notion that it could be a hernia or an aneurism, but I am definitely assymetrical. It is quite obvious.

Tommorow I have this CT scan to go through. I signed a paper today saying there is a 1 in 100,000 to 140,000 chance that I will die tomorrow when they start injecting me, so fingers crossed on that one. I balked at that. The statistic that if everyone took the test in this city tomorrow, 5 would die is horrible. However, my mind won't rest until I have seen my body cut up like a loaf of bread in these X rays they do.

I am getting older and I am irritated by it. Today I did 8 rounds on the heavy bag, and daily I am working the rowing machine. I almost feel as though I am fighting the clock now. It's my duty to get into shape. I am not fat at all, but I have lost my svelteness and it angers me. Part of me keeps going for checks in some weird attempt to say 'I don't get fat, give me the other diagnosis'.

[Gandalf]

Though that last sentence was not honest. Of course I would be happy with a diagnosis of just gaining weight. It is something I think is easy to handle. Something genuinely serious isn't and in many regards there is nothing you can do. I hope the former and being a very vain man, I will work like a bastard to get into shape.

[Master]

Though that last sentence was not honest. Of course I would be happy with a diagnosis of just gaining weight. It is something I think is easy to handle. Something genuinely serious isn't and in many regards there is nothing you can do. I hope the former and being a very vain man, I will work like a bastard to get into shape.

Well Mr Dorian Grey exercise certainly keeps you fit and young. Keep it up, and the exercise.

[greynotsoold]

Here's one...I had 3 24oz cans of beer in my refrigerator. I opened one, starting checking emails, watching my soap opera, and so on. I thought, 'damn, that beer went down easy' and opened another.
I watched tv, played with the dog, went to the bathroom. Thought, 'that beer went down easy as well.' So I opened another.
Then I made some lunch, ate it, went out and got the mail, and thought 'that beer went down easy as well', so I went and got another.
Now, walking around the house, I find that I have a full brand new beer, and one very nearly finished beer, and two nearly full beers.

[Gandalf]

I survived my CT scan! Mind you, I was in panic mode as I felt very uncomfortable with a needle hanging out my arm whilst I went through the Hiroshima machine. I could feel a sweat on my brow and really thought I was on the verge of passing out. I kept trying to think of things to distract my mind, but nothing profound was happening and I was thinking it would be awful to die and have my last thought being about GTA5. But alas, I didn't die as statistically was never going to happen beyond my fretting mind, and so I drove home swearing that I would get into shape. Today I rowed 2000 kilometres, did 6 rounds of boxing and did 3 minutes of stomach plank exercises. It was really hard work and the boxing in particular wasn't great. My legs just felt really heavy and maybe rowing followed by boxing is not the best thing as rowing is quite a strenuous thing

Yeah, I'm getting old now and have to get in shape. At nearly 6'3 and 83kg, I am not particularly heavy and clearly some of my weight gain has gone into my arms and shoulders, which my wife says are bigger, but I've never really carried weight in the belly area, so convinced myself that the portents were ominous. Hopefully with a clear bill of health, I can be in fighting shape in a couple of months. I wouldn't mind buying a running machine, but I seem to be banned from buying new equipment. 'Run outside' says my wife, but I don't really like going outside.

[Beanz]

Miles................you are a bit weird.

[Master]

Miles................you are a bit weird.

A bit?

[brocktonblockbust]

Miles how is the music going? can we get a glimpse?

[Gandalf]

The music was going well, but it has been on the backburner due to lesson planning. I am too shy to go public with that as I am a sensitive soul.

As for the accusation that I am a 'bit weird'. That has been known for several years and I detect a faux element of surprise. I realise that I have become like Joe in Joe versus the Volcano. Every sneeze is a fatal illness and every twinge in the mind a brain cloud. The only thing remaining is to find a volcano to jump in.

[Beanz]

Age should have taught you by now not to jump in volcanoes. You will burn more than your feet. You will end up like the chap on the right.

[Gandalf]

Also, I am now questioning my tape measure. I looked at my girth and was horrified to see that I had expanded 6 inches in 2 years. And yet, the jeans I am wearing now which are 32 inches also seem to have expanded dramatically. This tape measure is bollocks. Yes, I am slightly less held in, but the numbers were suggesting I had lost it completely. However, that means these jeans must have expanded somewhat too and they clearly can't have. I think maybe I have been overreacting, but I am definitely bigger than 32 inches. Maybe 35 inches and something that needs to be worked at and I will.

Another sign of age is not caring about what you are wearing anymore. We are going clothes shopping today as I need to accomodate being beyond 32 inches and I have thrown on this old button up shirt that looks like shit. 'You can't wear that, you look like a peasant' claimed my wife. 'It's too hot though and I don't want to iron anything', I complained. In years past I would have sucked it up and vanity would have won, but I am a defeated man and don't care so much. Dressed as a peasant I shall be. Let all those young dandies look fine and flowery and let me mope around like a man that doesn't give a fuck. As a consequence my wife has actually picked up the iron. Typically I would iron but it's 30'C plus and I genuinely can't be bothered. I ache from yesterday and a breakfast of grape juice has left me withered and wanting.

Also shopping for clothes is going to be annoying. I just want normal looking jeans and normal looking shirts and a few conservative jackets for when the weather cools down. Instead I can guarantee I am going to find jeans with silly patterns, shirts that look like roses, and no jackets. Young people fucking suck and they dress like idiots. I would rather dress like a peasant than an idiot.

[Gandalf]

Perhaps I was being a bit harsh on the young people of the world, but an awful lot of them do dress up in things that will only look bad 10 years from now. The key to dressing well is to try and imagine if they would laugh at you either 30 years ago or 30 years into the future. Typically, there is a straight line you can follow. Having said that, the people of tomorrow, yesterday and today, would all have agreed that the shirt I was wearing 20 minutes ago was a serious insult to the fine tastes of many fine and decent peasants past, future and present. It is gone, let's please forget about it.

[FinitoElDinamita]

When going out every other day and weekend is no longer a priority. I used to get anxious at home but im slowly becoming a homebody. Going out to clubs and bars to get drunk doesn't appeal to me anymore and im just done with it.

Id much rather spend time in the comfort of my own home and do stuff with my girl, workout, catch up on boxing, explore nice restuarants, and travel from time to time.

I want to travel more.. Yep, Im getting old.

[Dia bando]

When going out every other day and weekend is no longer a priority. I used to get anxious at home but im slowly becoming a homebody. Going out to clubs and bars to get drunk doesn't appeal to me anymore and im just done with it.

Id much rather spend time in the comfort of my own home and do stuff with my girl, workout, catch up on boxing, explore nice restuarants, and travel from time to time.

I want to travel more.. Yep, Im getting old.

It's called growing up bud, drink is drink and clubs are clubs, you hit that point in your life and
you say I'm feed up with this, you may have just reached it,!.
Enjoy yourself I have drunk my share and done crazy things, it's all part of turning into a old twat.

[Scrap]

Last week I helped a pensioner across the Road. I said come on old Fella let me help you, you look in trouble its a bit busy the traffic. He said thanks it getting harder these days, Im 68, I thought F==king Hell, Im 70.