RIP L.R.

[Oggie]

I just wanted to write a reply to thanks everyone, from the bottom of my heart, who responded. It really meant alot to me to come on here today and read this stuff, it really made me feel... nice I guess, I can't think of the proper word.
I know God will allow me to see her and speak to her again, in whatever form she now takes and that he will look after her. I'm sure when we meet again it will feel like only a moment has passed since we last met, however many years it takes.
I feel so guilty about all the things I never said, but I suppose that is natural. One day soon I'm going to get her portrait inked on to my left arm, just below my 1st tattoo - which she paid for.
I'd really like to write some personal stuff about her on here, she was a wonderful, beautiful supportive and loving person, and I wish I had had more time with her. But I don't think its too good of an idea to get specific, I don't want the information abused (not by any of you guys of course, but there are some real bad people who use info they find on the net to their advantage). She had a tough life sometimes, but she always perservered and saw things through and I never heard her complain or give up...
She loved animals, absolutely loved them, she took care of her blind old dog, and had two puppies that she had rescued from abusive environments (they all went with her in the fire). She also would walk my grandmothers dog, and my uncles dog, two hours a day... She was under 5'ft tall, and she would be walking these five rowdy animals around a lake... she loved it.
She used to take my little cousin, who's a 10yr old girl, down to the SPCA (animal shelter), and they'd spend hours looking at and playing with the dogs and cats there. She was always trying to find ways to build up my cousin because she had no friends and was treated very cruelly by people at her school.
When we were younger we were really poor, so we couldnt afford much, but she somehow was able to put me in a private school, where she thought I would get a better education. We couldn't afford dogs until I was a teenager, but we would always go and walk the dogs at the shelter.
The really sad thing is, a house fire was the way she was most scared of dying. She always wanted to go in her sleep. Ironically, she was sleeping on the couch and died of smoke inhalation, she never even knew what happened, so I thank God for allowing her to go the way she wanted to, in her sleep. There was not a burn or a mark on her body, thank God.
My step-dad, they married 15-16 yrs ago, was in the house when it happened and he tried to save her, but it was too late... He thought she was in the bedroom, but she was in the living room... but none of that really matters, all that matters is that he tried...
Thanks for letting me share a few of my memories... God bless you all and your families.

Wow man, sounds like your Mother was a lady to be very proud of... I get the feeling she was one of those people who, although left early, still managed to live a way more fulfilling life than most people will even if they live until 100. Wish more people lived like that! The world would be a much better place for sure.
I'm happier to hear that she passed on in her sleep too, without any suffering. I know the end result is the same for you... but still, glad to hear it was peaceful for your Mother.
She really sounded like a warrior, hehe... like when you said that she was under 5 ft tall, but still walked your relatives 5 dogs around the lake. Guess it is symbolic of her life in a way... she took hold of the leash of life and dared to stand up to it, no matter how much it tried to overpower her.
She left you with a lot of reasons to be proud of her man, now you need to do the same for her... I bet she is watching all that you're writing now and no doubt she is smiling!

[Mad_Dog]

God Bless bro...hang in there

[CFH]

Once again, thank you all very much. I am truly touched by all of the responces. I might post more memories on here if that is ok with you guys, it helps to get them out... I'll try to get back on a little later. I will live my life in a way that will make her proud, and when I see her again, it will be as if no time had passed, and time will never pass again.
This little verse has helped me greatly since I found it, perhaps it will help you if you ever feel the same sorrow that comes with the falling of a loved one...
Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Rossiter Worthington Raymond.

[CountryBoy]

May God Bless you my brother, And all of Saddo's members prayers and blessing be with you. May God be fruitful and rain endless opprotunities in ya life. You forever have our condolences

[TheBESTP4P]

Once again, thank you all very much. I am truly touched by all of the responces. I might post more memories on here if that is ok with you guys, it helps to get them out... I'll try to get back on a little later. I will live my life in a way that will make her proud, and when I see her again, it will be as if no time had passed, and time will never pass again.
This little verse has helped me greatly since I found it, perhaps it will help you if you ever feel the same sorrow that comes with the falling of a loved one...
Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Rossiter Worthington Raymond.

yeah bro keep doing ya thang! keep posting the memories anything that lets you express yourself definitely helps!

[CFH]

Again, I cannot express my thanks to all who responded. I wish I could do something more than CC all of you, you've truly helped me in the most difficult time of my life.
I just wanted to share with you all that I am at peace with my moms passing, doesn't mean I'm not angry and sad etc. but today I believe God showed myself and my family some signs that she is happy and at peace where she is.
In the next couple of days I'm gonna get her portrait tattoo'd on me, she hated having her picture taken, but I found a beautiful photo of her from 1983 - she's so young, vibrant, beautiful, and alive in this picture, and I will cherish it always.
If I could I'd like to share a quick (maybe not so quick) story about her that tells you just who she is, it makes me look really bad, but that is not important.
As I typed before, I had a lot of trouble with drugs, and the truth of it is that I was a heroin addict for 3 years. I am very ashamed of that, and it is hard to admit, even to myself, that I was that weak... and I am very, very sorry for it now. I have been clean of everything except weed and a bit of booze for over 3 years now, and I've even stopped smoking dope and drinking.
But I had a friend, who was also hooked, and we did dope together all the time... and one night he called my moms house looking for me, he was all fucked up and miserable... An hour or so later he showed up at her door, more fucked up and more miserable... Alot of parents, seeing a junkie, high on smack, who was doing that shit with her son would have called the cops or made him leave... Not my mom, she had all the love in the world... She took him inside, sat him down, gave him some smokes and water etc. and talked to him about how he was feeling, what was going on in his life and mind that brought him to such a place. She then offered to book him into a rehab or detox, pay for it (she was not wealthy by any means), and told him that she would pick him up and take him there, and held him as he wept... that was my mom. I love her and miss her and long for the days we will again be together.
Thank you for taking time out of your lives to read this.
Glory to God, the most high, and rest in peace mom and we shall be together soon.