Snakeys 1yr relationship ended and now hes gutted!

[donnydarkoIRL]

Hey guys. Got a shit load of anger built up and have learnt alcohol isnt the way. Just trying to chill out and relax at the moment. Trying to clear my head, its a long weekend down here after tomoz and its also my bday on saturday so im hanging with mates. Last bday, i was hanging with a mate and my gf...i could fuckin deal with this shit so much easier if we didnt have such good fuckin memories. It was only like since the start of january that shit hit the fan.

Hey mate, hope your keepin well.
Bein relaxed is pretty tough.
I'd reccomend doin a bunch of stuff for the weekend to keep you busy and make new memories.

[Douglas]

Yeah I'd play the guitar really loud too!

You're gonna have a lot more time on your hands now....Like JT suggested you could keep that time "in the hand" or you could do somethin productive.

Don't keep it in there too long or it could get stuck...

[Fantana]

You it looks like you need help here...


FANTANA'S GUIDE TO WINNING HER BACK

If you’re at a loose end on what to do now you are no longer with your girl, there is one tactic you must employ to save face. Make sure to tell everyone it was you who dumped her, not the other way round. This way if she never comes back to you it will look like your choice. Each break up is different and will need different approaches, just like a Shirts off Showdown. Unlike the generic Galien, break ups come in all different fashions. To win her back you will need to be a real man, such as myself, at all times. This of course means accepting that the “relationship” has ended and not look needy. You don’t NEED it back, but perhaps you do WANT it back. There’s a difference, like the need for fresh air in a car full of farmers or the want of a tighter vest. Because girls are so into real men, such as myself, we are always strides ahead with this stuff. If you’re a dork, or a metro, try it anyway. Just like you may have tried sex or sports even though you knew you were going to be shit at them.

If she dumped you:- Understand why she did it (HINT – YOU’RE A DORK). A lot of break ups are due to more of a power balance game then an actual finale. Try conceding a little with her and ask her to be more expressive so it doesn’t happen again. She will think she has won. When she confirms it is back on, tell her if she does that shit again you will be gone for good. Now you have the power, although you never lost it in the first place. Don’t attack her pride as this will reaffirm why she dumped you (DOUBLE HINT – YOU’RE A DORK)

If you dumped her:- This will hurt her a lot more, which can have an advantage as you can take that pain away like vinegar to a stingy nettle wound. Express you want it to work but she will need to make a little effort like you have been doing. It only takes one to make a relationship work. In reality they may last a day or up to a fortnight, but since real men, such as myself, have next to no concept of time (life is like one huge video game) it goes by really fast.


Regarld of who dumped who there may never be a better time to show a slightly more vulnerable side to yourself, give the girl a little incentive to come back to you as you need someone to mother you, girls love that. Now would be a good time to tell her you can’t tie your own shoe laces and besides, why do you need to? This is why Velcro was invented.

IF SHE SAYS WE CAN BE FRIENDS

Take it or leave it. If a girl is attracted to a guy he will never be put into the friends zone entirely, least of all one she was intimate with. They know that at any given opportunity non-gay love making could strike out. Take the friend status and promote it a little. Since you are friends, contact and meet ups are acceptable. WARNING - If you didn’t know before women are demanding noise holes who are only quiet when eating chocolate or sleeping. Don’t be fooled by how cute they look by the little faces they pull because women are like dolphins, they have 2 brains (both roughly the size of a testicle) and are always semi-awake. This means they are fully aware of what they are doing whilst asleep. It’s science.

Remember you’re pretending to be her friend so you can win her back, patience is the key so don’t meet her for a week and pretend you have other things to do. Arrange a casual meet up, preferably alone, but if she invites you to a social gathering this is a great way to make her want you all over again. Hit on all her friends and muscle out the guys. Wink at her a lot so she knows you both know what you are capable of. Use Enhancement Stories to appear interesting again. If you get resistance from your advances claim it is hot and whip off your shirt. Move each pectoral individually, but don’t strike any poses unless oiled up efficiently and in good lighting. You want to appear serious but also appealing, in a non-gay way. Take charge of the situation and do all those things you did for ‘Maintaining a Girlfriend’. She will be on you quicker than you can say “PMS”. This whole process can take 15 minutes, plus whatever period of time it took to meet her again.


AFTERMATH OF A BAD BREAK UP

It’s only when she wants no contact with you whatsoever that you will actually have to redo a lot of the stuff that made her want you in the first place. To reverse it will require all your special abilities and of course time. Time is, as Albert Einstein discovered with the theory of gravity, a great healer. I can’t tell you how much time, but it could be a case of months or longer. She will have been hurt by you and there is no fury like a woman scorned. Maybe you frequent the same areas, work together or have mutual friends. If all of these are true you may actually be stalking her and that restraining order is there for a reason. You’re going to have to plan this out yourself but try and look at it from a different angle, just turn this page upside down. Don’t be afraid to mix it up a little.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Women are like a disease, easily caught, often hard to get rid of but once they are gone they can be gone forever. Also like all diseases known to man they are easily cured and there is more than enough to go around and every single one of them is complained about daily. Take a look at the disease you want to win back and decide if that really is the disease you want more of? If you don’t win her back, do not hate her. It has happened to me and I am proud to say she is in my prayers and I hope she gets better soon. After all, only someone beyond help would turn down the chance to be with a HMHT, such as myself. If everything fails and you don’t win her back then you will need to get a new girl, luckily for you, I have another guide somewhere which outlines the details to snagging yourself a lady. Who knows, maybe you will get a good one and find out where she pees from.

Yours in manliness,
Fantana

[CFH]

Fantana, you're brilliant. In a non-gay way.