Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know
I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real f**king asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear F**kin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)
A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!
*dog barking noises*
I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Reminds me a bit of Zappas song "Broken hearts are for asholes"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHjfD...eature=related
Hey! do you know what you are?
Youre an asshole! an asshole!
Some of you might not agree
Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, cause you're an asshole...
Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to the grape,
Just to give it a try
And dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One two three four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Lets talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
Who had just blew in from spain
Sir richard pump-a-loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
Then on tuesday night, ceasars back in town
In a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With kona.
And so you worked the wall with michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic hell
But you came back on sunday for the gong show
Next thursday, teen towns finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin
Cause you're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
Youre an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
Youre an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
Youre an asshole, you're an asshole
Now you been to the grape n you been to the chest
N now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole
You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
Its lookin at you
Don't fool yerself girl
Its winkin at you
Don't fool yerself girl
Its blinkin at you
That's why I say
Im gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!
Don't fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)
Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...
All wealthy well respected promoters , walk around in a tee shirt and wear a bandana , lol ,
this guy is a fucking retard.
SOB go fuck yourself you idiot !
I once tried to overthrow an internet forum. ipodhacks.com my name was HaterHater for some reason one night I just started spewing all this stuff on there and everyone thought I was actually trying to do it so I kind of just ran with it.
iPod Hacks Forums - Search Results
Crazy stuff.
That started during the '04 election. After the swiftboaters pretty much dissected John Kerry over what he did and didn't do in the war. Bush didn't denounce the ads, but instead started saying that message at the end of each ad. I didn't think it would survive to another election, but it seems like it's a hear-to-stay thing.
Oops
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