I plead the fifth...![]()
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Oddly enough I was joking with the wife about very similar last night. I have an almost otherwordly ability to skate,when Im guilty as sin, and somehow finding myslef looking at jail house doors when Im totally innocent.
In Philly there's two levels of in deep.
First the station house,Im very familiar with the confines of the Roundhouse as its called. But if you get put back in a paddywagon after you get booked in the Roundhouse,well you screwed up this time son because your mega officially in custody, and shant be leaving custody without a lawyer at best.
In a fit of what I can only in hindsight describe as Philadelphia Police humour, I hadnt done a damned thing wrong, and Im back in the paddywagon. The whole ride Im thinking WTF, because I was screaming innocent this time. I go through the full transfer and everything, right to "tattoo's,circumsized?" and getting double checked (Why do they bother asking,if theyre just going to look anyway?), only to have the warden look down at the release sheet, look up at me, and ask, "Can you think of any reason why we're holding you?"
An awnser of "No,I have no idea" and a 20 block walk later, I went back to bed
One of the only times I can remember being rousted,where I was %100 guilty, it was worth the fine. Allways remember kiddies, a well placed middle didgit costs you at least 124.73 American dollars.
So make it count
And an addendium
If your morning starts in a situation that involves a flashlight,a nightstick tapping you on the foot,the phrase "Whadda we have here?",just pull the blanket over your head and pretend to be deceased. Because the rest of your day is going to suck,and you just woke up for gods sake..
Interesting side note, the flashlights cops carry are so big,because its a secondary nightstick. You could run the things on 1 double A battery. But somehow they all seem to take 3 C batteries.
Given the choice between getting hit with the flashlight or their nightsicks, go with the nightstick,cause you get whomped with the flashlight,an unregistered .38 is going to find itself next to you rapidly cooling body.
Second add on
Why this is so funny,is because I was talking to the wife on this very topic last night.
There's some back story so wait for it
I just got a new toy,a full tattoo kit.
Im a very old school punk rocker, I saw the Clash in 82 old school.
Everyone remembers Skinheads used get their knuckles tatted all the time with Skin
And Im a smart ass by nature
So I got my knuckles tatted with PUNK, just to stick it in Skinhead faces.
And after many trips to the Roundhouse, it dawned on me,you know,you can be totally innocent,hell you can not even be charged, and find yourself in a situation where the word Punk on your knuckles does not work towards your benefit.
So I was literally working on the coverup last night.
Sarcasm and ink, rarely work towards your best interests, thankfully I was able to fix that before I found out what anal rape felt like, I mean unless you count all the years in the boxing and music industry's, where it's practically written in to the contract.
Nope. The most a police officer has said to me is stop kicking a football too hard in the local park as there was children in there.
Most scousers my age are crack obssesed gang war hoodies. Not me though. I'm a good guy.
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I got stabbed through the bottom of my thumb last friday but I was the one who spent 24 hrs in nic on AHB charges....
Work that one out![]()
Ive been arrested twice but have never been to jail. I was drunk and disorderly both times. I only deserved to be arrested the one time though. The other time the police were being a bit out of order and making an example of me. I went to court twice and got cautioned both times. Never charged nor put in jail. But I did vomit in the police cell on one of those occasions.
Most of the time it was my big mouth that got me into trouble. Another time a cop pulled over as I was walking down the street late at night. He asks if I have any drugs on me. Even though I am clean, I tell him I have a bag of weed in my pocket. Sonofabitch was mad as hell, and decided to throw me in the tank overnight to teach me a lesson. Those bastards liked to throw people in the tank in my town, even when we were minding our own business.
No, the closest I've come (probably not that close) was when I was like 17 and we were drinking on this golf course late night and decided to drive around on the golf course, the cops came, me and two other people decided the most efficient plan would be to run so we had to cross like three or four holes to get out of there, running real low (), not sure why really, they probably would have just called my parents.
And I had a half ounce of pot confiscated one time.
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