Whats red and smells like blue paint?

[Andre]

Red paint

[Andre]

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

[Ghost]

Bored are we?

[Andre]

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

[Andre]

Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century?

It isn't, its a cult.

[Andre]

Bored are we?

YEP.

They are called anti jokes.
but I think they are funny.
which is funny.

[Ghost]

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Never happened

[Ghost]

What's black and white and red all over?








The President after a night with the missus.

[skel1983]

Andre you forget the Meds tonight?

[0james0]

I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping:

I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint!

[0james0]

Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forgot what you went in for.

It was only when the shit started running down my leg that I remembered.

[Ghost]

What's black and white and red all over?































A penguin in a microwave.

[0james0]

That was some christmas party I went to!

I reckon my drink was spiked, as I cant remember anything.

I didnt wake up until boxing day.
All I had was an empty pizza box next to me, with a fucking grey sock in it!

(will only make sense to people in uk)

[:::PSL:::]

What's black and white and red all over?































A penguin in a microwave.

What's green and red traveling 100 mph?











A frog in a blender.

[Andre]

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.