Dear Floyd,
I would love to share the ring with you for a few minutes, con the public,humiliate myself and pretend I'm a good challenger in return for a shit load of money, and then I'll never fight again.
I know there are lots out there who want to do the same,but none of them have as quick hands as I have. I hold the world record for chopping 10 onions,beating Jamie Oliver and Edward Scissorhands in the process. It hasnt really helped me much in boxing at a decent level,but it sounds good.
I reckon I could make you look very powerful, after all I've been knocked in the 2 weights below , so it would be as easy as falling off a log to get sparked by you, after all , you did it to Ricky Hatton and he's probably better than me. Please read my resume below of my past 5 years experience.
Prescott - knocked me out inside a minute at Lightweight!
Oisin Fagan- impressive victory against a top 100 fighter
Barrera - he was a bit over the top, and I was struggling,but after I head butted him , I got myself a nice little technical decision.
Kotelnik- when you can't cut it at a weight what do you do? Go up a weight and take on the weakest champion! Dunno what he's doing now, but the money we gave him goes a long way in the Ukraine.
Salita - nice little 1st defence, 1st rd ko! Some fans probably paid £10 per second to see that. he's never been heard of before or since .
Malignaggi-another good defence as there was zero chance of him exposing my glass jaw with his feather fists.
Maidana- my best performance ever, Maidana was actually top 10. He still made me look a clown in the 10th round though.
McCloskey - tough fight against a top 50 journeyman.
Judah- I beat Zab Judah, but then again, who doesn't beat Zab Judah?
Peterson - before the fight I was telling everyone how I would win easy and was looking to fight Tim Bradley after (pretending to want it anyway) anyway, he beat me, so I had to blame it on some bloke at the ringside with a hat on.
Garcia- he's not in my league, I was winning after one and a half rounds! Unfortunately after that he knocked me into next week!
Molina - I needed to see if I could still take a punch, so why not fight a lightweight who has never been in the rankings of any of the governing bodies! Bit of a struggle , but I got there in the end.
Diaz - a career lightweight who also dropped me!!! (Still not sure why my fast hands didn't help!)
That was over a year ago by the time we meet, so I'm sure I'll be a bit rusty,but who cares.
By the way, as well as conning the few British fans I have, I've also conned GBP into thinking I have a big following in Britain, but to be honest I never fight there that much , so I'm hardly gonna bring the fans Ricky Hatton did.
Please fight me because I'd rather you end my career than Kell Brook or Adrien Broner.