I have strange ideas floating around in my head now and then, and sometimes they scare me or make me wonder if something is wrong with me.

For example, about 3 years ago, and virtually overnight at that, all of a sudden I just HAD to find out what it was like to get the nitrous oxide at the dentist. I had to call around to some dentists to find the ones that had it, and I even researched the subject extensively on the internet. Fortunately (?) I had a couple cavities, so I got to try it out in short order. It was pretty damn cool once they cranked it up, but I still feel like a psycho freak when I go to the dentist and mention that "I need it to handle the drill", even though they seem to think it's not that big of a deal to give it to me. I'd just fall over and die if anyone I know found out about it. I thank god for the anonymity of the internet.

More recently, right after I decided to try learning about boxing for exercise and weight loss, I saw that million dollar baby movie. After seeing some of the scenes in the movie, now I've got this strange urge to find out what getting knocked out feels like and seeing myself on video in the process.  I think fights are always videotaped for the fighters to review, aren't they? The second girl hillary swank fought, who got bounced off the ropes and fell down after only 3 punches, she really got her ass plastered good, huh? I think the whole knock out idea is very embarrassing to the fighter when it actually happens, but very intriguing at the same time. I wonder now if seeing the movie was a mistake.

I don't know if there's really something wrong in my head, or if this is a normal fantasy, or morbid curiosity, or just the dark side of human nature.