I did bring a bunch of Cuban cigars back from Canada a few times. I put them on top of a travel bag and put the bag right up to the customs guy coming back. He pushed the bag back at me and said welcome back to the a US. I think smugglers call that hide in plain sight. Another time coming back from China the customs dude asked me if I had any food products. I said no not knowing my wife had loaded up on lichi fruit and other exotic snacks. He whipped out this sharp knife cut the shit out of my bag, grabbed all the fruits n shit out. He gave me a look, I couldn’t rat on my wife, I knew I had to man up and do the time. As we say in America “snitches wear stitches”. I said meekly sir I forgot about the fruity goodness in my bag. He gave me a warning saying he could fine the shit out of me or arrest me, that perked me up as I could already feel the prison shower rape and could hear my ass screaming for mercy.


Anyway he looked me up saw I never did it before and mercifully spared me the prison shower rape