How many people do you know who've had it and beat it? Literally everyone my sisters know (middle aged/old birds) has got it, had it, beat it. I say, how did she/he get the test? Oh, the doctor told them.... I interrupt, over the phone? Told them to self-isolate? That's the standard line for everyone in the country pestering the NHS with paranoia and a runny nose.

The only people more jarring than the immune brigade are conspiracy theorists.