There were three rottweilers in the waiting room at the vet’s surgery, and after a while they got talking. ‘I was out walking with my master,’ says the first one, ‘when a thug attacked him, so I chased the guy, caught him by the throat and savaged him to death. That’s why I’m here to be put down.’ ‘I was in the house,’ began the second dog, ‘when a burglar broke in and tried to nick the TV. So I pinned him to the floor, bit his arm off, and now I’m here to be put down.’ The third rottweiler then started his story. ‘I was patrolling the house one evening, and I wandered into the bathroom to see my master’s wife naked, bending over the tub, so I leapt up and gave her a good seeing-to from behind.’ ‘What, and you’re being put down for that?’ Oh, no. I’m just here to get my claws clipped.’