Come on boss have pity on me, I'm 133 years old and havn't sex since I was 33.

My coolclick blanket kept me warm at night and gave me enough affirmation to continue living.

Without my 1571 coolclicks I am nothing.

In fact I am less than nothing, I'm not even real. I'm just an old fictional character who is about to be written out of existence.

Please give me my coolclicks back