I ran into this guy that I used to play football with in high school and it got me thinking. He was this Korean-American guy, a big guy with the most massive head I've ever seen to this day. Anyway he only played one year but that one summer we had to do two a days which is horrible cause its Alabama, its like 105 and humid and you're wearing all these pads and helmets and its just a fucking nightmare, 6 hours a day and its so fucking hot. Anyway at the end of the day we had to do this thing where we had to sprint 100 yards one way then a 100 yards back. Then you move up five yards and sprint 95 yards one way, 95 back and so on and so on till you do two five yard sprints to end. Anyway Joe wasn't very good and was out of shape but he tried and at the end of the sprints our coach singled him out to step forward because he'd been working so hard, so he steps forward, and projectile vomits all over the place right through his face mask, all over the place.

The other was football too. One of my best friends actually. If you know anything about American football you know that if you're rushing the quarterback and you're not going to get the sack you're supposed to jump up and try to knock down the pass. Anyway were doing this drill with one guy being the offensive lineman and the other trying to deflect a pass. Anyway my friend was the offensive lineman and the other guy jumped up to try to deflect the pass and straight rammed his knee right into his nuts. Anyway after like an hour (of I assume pure agony) he has to leave the practice. Then he's not there at school the next day and I didn't even notice it. We get to practice, our coach who's this gigantic stereotypical redneck sits us down and I swear to God says "Matt's had a serious gonad injury."

Anyway he missed the entire season because of it. Nobody really knows the whole story. I always tell him that he should just go ahead and admit he only has one testicle. He maintains he has two. I laugh. Which is probably insensitive.

That might not be a funny story from a certain perspective. Anyway I was bored.