Darn can't rep you, but anyway, sorry that someone close to you died..

Honestly I don't think it's selfish at all.. It sounds like the son is a bit selfish...

He probably doesn't realize just how close you got to the family during the year spending time with them, and perhaps if he had any idea he would have been more welcoming of you during this time... As open person would just let you be apart of it anyway...

But it could also be that just some families have this real intimate thing going on and feel like they will be betraying that a little bit letting someone else in at such a vulnerable time..

Still think you are right to feel the way you do though and it's a shame you miss out on dealing with it the way you want to, and probably the way the man would have wanted you to as well..