Here's a few of my milder brainfarts:

#1. accidentally brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

#2. forgetting to wash the juice off my fingers after cutting up Jalapeno peppers, and then touching my genitals to take a leak.

#3. tearing off a piece of toilet paper to blow my nose with, then tossing the full roll in the toilet.

Sure I was either drunk at the time or had a hangover, but still.

Any admissions?