Cruise Liner

[X]

I was consoling Francisco Schettino about crashing the Costa Concordia the other day.

"Don't worry mate, there's plenty more vessels in the sea and all that."

"I don't give a shit about the boat," he shouted. "No Italian's ever going to ask me to be a Captain again!"

"Fabio Capello might."

[X]

Apparently two women have been found dead in the internet cafe on the Costa Concordia. Probably a couple of blondes trying to surf their way to freedom.

[X]

Attention passengers this is your captain, We of Carnival Cruise Lines Costa Concordia welcome you to Italy. If you look out the port side now you'll see the beautiful Tuscan sky and to our starboard you'll see the old Italian navy.

[Master]

I would go on a cruise but they are very expensive.