Any good jokes ????

[Dia bando]

Hell that's no joke that would be a nightmare.

[roberto duran legend]

Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour

[Memphis]

Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour

I thought it was funny.

Whats the most difficult thing about a sex change?

Getting fish to smell like cheese.

[El Kabong]

Wayne Rooney visited Fabrice Muamba in the hospital. "He looks great and can almost string together a complete sentence" Muamba said.

[Dia bando]

Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour

The Tories mate that's the nightmare.

[roberto duran legend]

I went to the pub last night, and there was this fat girl dancing on a table.
I walked passed and said ' Fucking amazing legs ' The girl giggled and said
with a smile 'Do you really think so ' I said ' without a doubt,
most tables would have collapsed by now ' .

[roberto duran legend]

WALLET SCAM WARNING.
In ASDA whilst packing shopping in yourcar, you may be approached by 2 fit 18
year oldEastern European girls in tight , tiny tops. They wash your screen with their tits
up against the window and ask for a lift to the next ASDA as payment.
On the way they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other.
One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts
to steal your wallet. I had mine stolen last thursday , friday, saturday ,
twice on sunday and once again today, so be carefull .
PS you can buy wallets for 99p in poundstretchers

[roberto duran legend]

Bloke buys a Geordie parrot, but gets sick of it saying, 'Im from the toon
and im hard as fuck' , so he puts a Kestrel in his cage. Next morning he
finds the Kestrel dead,and the Parrot saying ' Im from the toon and im as hard as fuck'.
So the bloke puts a Golden Eagle in the cage. Next morning he finds the Eagle dead
and the Parrot with no feathers. As he looks in the cage, the Parrot says,
'Had to tek me coat off for that bastard.

[Dia bando]

My Girlfriend was giving me a wank the other night she
had a keyring in her hand I think she's was trying to fob me off.

[Andre]

My misses asked if I was fucking her around behind her back.

I said yeah of course it was me, who'd the hell did you think it was?

[Andre]

This ventrilloquist visits a farm and says to the farmer i can talk to animals and they reply to me.

Never says the farmer.

But then the ventriloquist talks to the horse and asks if he likes the farm.

"Oh yes" says the horse "its wonderful here the farmer treats us well and there is always feed.

The farmer looks astonished.

The ventriloquist turns to the sheep and the farmer says "dont go talking to her she a fucking liar!'

[Dia bando]

My friend was telling me his son is a cage fighter his record
was 3 wins I asked who was his opposition he said 2 budges and 1 canary.

[Master]

My friend was telling me his son is a cage fighter his record
was 3 wins I asked who was his opposition he said 2 budges and 1 canary.

Is your son the Geordie Parrot?

[generalbulldog]

As Ghost said, what happened to the good jokes?

Man, a lot of these jokes are even worse than Marktko's jokes.

[FinitoElDinamita]

How do chinese peeps name their babies?


They throw a coin down the stairs and which ever sound it makes, thats the name..

Like ching chong chow. Loll