Any good jokes ????

[roberto duran legend]

I have been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round
to having sex. As i stripped off i said " you must have seen a few cocks
where you work, how do you rate mine ?"' she said " its slightly bigger
than average." I said " Thanks, what sort of nursing do you do anyway? "
She said " im a midwife."

[roberto duran legend]

The chief executive at the F.A. has just spoken to Roy Hodgson to tell him
" dont forget we have no Wayne for the first two matches" to which Hodgson
replied " i dont need a fucking weather forecast you pwick.

[Andre]

Doctor rings up an old bloke and asks him 'Is your wifes name brenda smith?' yes says the guy, is everything ok? The doc says look we've had mix up with the paper work here we have two Brenda Smiths unfortunatley one has gonorrhea and the other has Altzhiemers until we get more tests done we cant tell which is which and we dont wish worry any of them unduly in the mean time. What can I do asked the old guy. the doc says 'send her down the supermarket on her own, if she comes back dont root her.

[Andre]

Blonde driving gets pulled over by a blonde cop. She says show me your license please miss.
'What does a licence look like?' she asks.
"Its an oblong thing about this size with a picture of you on it" says the cop.
She produces her compact mirror and asks 'is this it?'
the cop said "Oh if I knew you were a cop I wouldnt of pulled you over."

[roberto duran legend]

The wife asked me " what are you doing on the computer? "
" im looking for cheap flights." " I love you" she said,
then she got all excited, unzipped my trousers and gave
me the most amazing blow job ever, ....... which is odd
because she has never shown an intrest in darts before.