Any good jokes ????

[Master]

This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do what he tells you, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "he wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, and thought you were cute. He asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom, so I told him where to find it. Be strong, darling. I love you, too."

[roberto duran legend]

A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV,
and suddenly yells " dont enter the church you daft cunt,
its a trap" His wife askes him " what are you watching ? "
Husband replies " our fucking wedding video".

[roberto duran legend]

God created the Orgasm, so that women can moan even when they are happy.

[Andre]

Knock knock
who there?
Annoying English teacher
annoying English teacher who?
Annoying English teacher whom.




Whats Mary short for?
She has no legs.

[Master]

Knock knock
who there?
Annoying English teacher
annoying English teacher who?
Annoying English teacher whom.

.

That would be Miles knocking then.

[roberto duran legend]

A man goes into a chemist to ask for some viagra . Have you got a prescription
asks the chemist, no says the man , will this picture of my wife do.

[roberto duran legend]

My wife called me up to the bedroom earlier " look what i found in the cupboard,
crotchless panties" she said as she modelled them seductively. I didnt have the
heart to tell the fat fucker it was one of my vests.

[El Kabong]

....Someone has been eating popcicles and or Laffy Taffy

[Lennox Eubank]

....Someone has been eating popcicles and or Laffy Taffy

I dunno what they are but if they make you pull out top drawer jokes then I could well be.

[Beanz]

....Someone has been eating popcicles and or Laffy Taffy

Over here a Laffy Taffy is a chuckling Welsh person.

[Andre]

While we are on kids jokes. What sort of Bees produce milk?





























Boobies.