Any good jokes ????

[roberto duran legend]

Two blokes are in a pub.One says to the other," I fucked your mum last night.
We did everything.I did her up the arse.She gave me a tit wank, sucked my
cock,the lot. Shot my load all over her face to finish. " the other bloke puts
down his pint and says," Lets go home dad i think you have had enough to drink.

[roberto duran legend]

The missus came into my shed yesterday. " You are wasting your time and money
on all these inventions" she said.
It was at this point that the slap-a-cunt automatic 3000 proved her wrong....

[roberto duran legend]

My pet mouse Elvis died today. He was caught in a trap.

[roberto duran legend]

When watching the Paralympics it got me wondering......
If this lot can run faster than i can,swim better than i can,
lift heavier weights than i can,why the fuck do they need to
park closer to Asda than me.

[Andre]

Bought my misses a pair of shoes and vibrator for her birthday.
If she doesnt like the shoes she can...

[roberto duran legend]

Good news for the parents of Megan Stammers- she has just passed her maths oral.

[Dia bando]

I have just come back from the Hospital, I had to take a friend to A+E
he asked me to swat a wasp on his nose.
I just happened, to have a pan shovel in my hands at the time.

[Ghost]

Bought my misses a pair of shoes and vibrator for her birthday.
If she doesnt like the shoes she can...

Just remember, when she starts to like it more...


You'r history.

[Andre]

I have shares in the plastic industry, I cant lose.