I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news. The good news is I have to run along pretty soon. I’ve exceeded the allotted daily time to this forum. The bad news is (for you, Beanie), I’m going to be here as long as the forum exists. So sorry to disturb your peace. I’ll be here to bitch slap you every time you cross my path, because only real men deserve logical arguments. Ass-kissers deserve only to be bitch-slapped. I will continue to ridicule your sorry ass every time I get the opportunity. I will now seek out your innocent little posts about what a cool grandfather you are (and how you and your missus get matching tattoos), and will shit all over them. I will make it my business to slam your ass and hurl every insult known to man your way. And the beauty of it all is… I will be having fun doing it!

You are so-o-o-o-o easy to make fun of. You give us details of your personal life, so we can all know you’re this cool, happening grandfather. You write in flowery prose, most of the time twisting yourself into an incomprehensible pile of word-shit that no one understands or cares to try. You shamelessly kiss ass like a seasoned politician. (And I thought Romney kissing up to the middle class was bad). You write these cute one-liners to show everyone what a fun guy you are. AND… you single me out, because unlike you, I don’t travel in packs. I’m my own man, a concept I wouldn’t expect you to understand. You figure… “What the hell… he’s a Puerto Rican, and isn’t constantly begging for cool clicks like I am. He’s a safe target.” You’ve backed off Miles for that reason, because Miles has his cronies and has been here since the Ice Age. Better single me out… I’m safer.

Only one problem with that theory. You went fishing for goldfish, and hooked a great white. Now you get your sorry ass chomped on and you have nothing but flowery, convoluted prose and cute one-liners.

If you weren’t so transparently hypocritical, it might not be as funny. You accuse me of sitting on the fence on subjects, but when someone else does it, it passes by unnoticed. You accuse me of seeking brownie points… and yet you are the one who constantly wants to speak for the whole forum. No matter what the issue, you know where to align yourself, even if it means going against your true beliefs… assuming of course you have any of those.

I have my scraps here. Most notably lately with Lyle, but also with people like VD. But here’s the thing: Lyle is an opinionated blowhard. But his opinions are his own. So arguing with Lyle has a beginning and an end. We agree to disagree and that’s it… end of story. With VD, it’s a matter of getting past the racist façade. But again, his opinions… no matter how sick and wrong they are… are his own. With you it’s like fighting the little kid in the playground. You didn’t like the analogy before, but it’s dead on. The big kids are fighting… so the little kid goes and hides behind the back of the big kid he thinks is going to win (or will make him more popular). From that vantage point, the kid yells out, echoing what the big kids in front of him are saying.

So in the end, you are worthy of the least amount of respect I would grant to any human being. By being a kiss-ass brown-noser, you have established a reputation of being like the 5-dollar whore. You go with whoever buys you a drink. Which is why I’ll continue the analogy and consider myself the pimp, bitch-slapping you into oblivion every chance I get.

No need to thank me for the attitude-adjustment session.