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This just in:




"Apparently the Mayan calculations for the end of the world have been misinterpreted due to an unfortunate turn of events that has just been uncovered by scientists. One of the stick figures on the Mayan calendar is actually organic debris, most likely mucus material, which completely changes the value of the key numeral in the calculations. It is thought that the Mayan calendar maker inadvertently sneezed, projecting this mucus particle... and then misinterpreted the calculations, placing the end of the world at December 21, 2012. Scientists are now recalculating the date to set the record straight."

"Our apologies to those who committed suicide due to the onset of the end of the world.
Oops...."