Also, I am now questioning my tape measure. I looked at my girth and was horrified to see that I had expanded 6 inches in 2 years. And yet, the jeans I am wearing now which are 32 inches also seem to have expanded dramatically. This tape measure is bollocks. Yes, I am slightly less held in, but the numbers were suggesting I had lost it completely. However, that means these jeans must have expanded somewhat too and they clearly can't have. I think maybe I have been overreacting, but I am definitely bigger than 32 inches. Maybe 35 inches and something that needs to be worked at and I will.
Another sign of age is not caring about what you are wearing anymore. We are going clothes shopping today as I need to accomodate being beyond 32 inches and I have thrown on this old button up shirt that looks like shit. 'You can't wear that, you look like a peasant' claimed my wife. 'It's too hot though and I don't want to iron anything', I complained. In years past I would have sucked it up and vanity would have won, but I am a defeated man and don't care so much. Dressed as a peasant I shall be. Let all those young dandies look fine and flowery and let me mope around like a man that doesn't give a fuck. As a consequence my wife has actually picked up the iron. Typically I would iron but it's 30'C plus and I genuinely can't be bothered. I ache from yesterday and a breakfast of grape juice has left me withered and wanting.
Also shopping for clothes is going to be annoying. I just want normal looking jeans and normal looking shirts and a few conservative jackets for when the weather cools down. Instead I can guarantee I am going to find jeans with silly patterns, shirts that look like roses, and no jackets. Young people fucking suck and they dress like idiots. I would rather dress like a peasant than an idiot.
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