Any good jokes ????

[Andre]

Hey man, how many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Oh some obscure number you've probably never heard of.

How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.

Whats wrong with owning a dildo farm?
All the squatters.

[Xwetie]

I got a few jokes might be a bit rough though! so be prepared!

Some incest jokes

A guy calls the job.
-I can not come today, I'm sick.
How sick are you?
I'm home and fucking my sister, how sick is that?

My sister says to her brother when they have sex: "Damn you're better than Dad!", Whereupon his brother replies, "I know, thats what my mom says too".


A girl asks her dad if she can go on camps.
- Okay, replies the father, but then you have to suck me off.
She goes along with it and starts but aborts soon.
- UAH! It tastes the poo!
- Yes, but your little brother wanted so badly to have a new skateboard.


Two Jews lie in ambush at a bridge that they'll blow up and waiting for Hitler to go by. Hours pass, one Jew bursts:
"Hope nothing didn't happened to him!"

At the airport immigration office:

-NAME?
-Muhjmatil al Ahmed!
-SEX?
-Three times a week!
-I MEANE MALE OR FEMALE?
-Doesn't matter. Sometimes even with a camel


The claimant to the blind man:
- are you stupid? you can't blow up your barbara doll here!
- Ohh fuck .. Then I fucked my inflatable boat all summer ..

[goti71]

The parable of the clever son.

An old man lying on his deathbed summoned his three sons.

“I will give each of you a penny, my children,” he said in a trembling voice. “The one who can buy something to fill the whole house with will inherit my house and all my possessions.”

The first son went out and bought a bale of hay but the hay was barely enough to fill even the smallest room.

The second son went out and bought a cart-full of feathers but the feathers were barely enough to fill a second room.

Then the third son went out and bought a little candle.

“A candle?” laughed his brothers, “What a fool”.

But when he lit the candle, the whole house was filled with light and the two sons were amazed at their little brother.


Proletariat version:

"Wait! I’m in this too!” said the fourth illegitimate son, bursting into the room.

“Go back to the stables, Bastard! You still have lots of work to do!” said the brothers.

But then the bastard son let out a long, intense fart, which filled the whole house instantly.

“There,” he said. “And that was for free. Who’s the bastard now, then?