Any good jokes ????

[Mark TKO]

Master walks into a bar

Everyone else gets up and leaves

[Master]

A Polish man moved to the UK and married an English girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? --Yes, an acre and half and Nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? --It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Do either of you have A real grudge? --
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like? --All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? -- We have hi-fidelity stereo
and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? -- No, I am always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger? -- No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce? --She going to kill me.

What makes you think that? -- I got proof.

What kind of proof? --

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover"

[Mark TKO]

A Polish man moved to the UK and married an English girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? --Yes, an acre and half and Nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? --It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Do either of you have A real grudge? --
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like? --All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? -- We have hi-fidelity stereo
and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? -- No, I am always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger? -- No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce? --She going to kill me.

What makes you think that? -- I got proof.

What kind of proof? --

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover"

as i said..........

[Master]

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan
desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a
little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling neckties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to
buy a tie? They are only £5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced
tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want
to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than
that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find a lovely restaurant. There you will find all the ice cold water you want.
Shalom."

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later
he staggered back, almost dead & said, …….

"Your ***king brother won't let me in without a tie!"