I would force Tony Blair to watch Mayweather/Baldomir in slow motion with Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music at full blast. Every 20 minutes it would stop for the 10 minute lecture from me going through the Iraq dossier pointing out every inconsistency. Every time he tries to speak he gets a mouthful of the hottest mutton vindaloo imaginable. 'Think carefully, you war mongering, torturing scumbag. I'm giving you curry and a prime example of hit and not be hit boxing artistry. Do you not appreciate that this is civilised as compared to people who run electric shocks through the bollocks? Or start illegal wars for the Bilderberg mafia? And Lou Reed too, arguably one of the seminal icons in music history. Now back to the dossier....'. It would go on for several days.