***BREAKING NEWS****

Ryanman was eating pork eggrolls in a Chinese restaurant when a chef in the back attempted to kidnap him and sell him into slavery in Canton, Guangdong province, China. Ryanman grabbed his chef-ass and hurled him through the back door into alley, giving him a thrashing that china-Man had never known. The police then arrested Ryan as he was slapping the piss out of that hapless chef. He is now serving a 3 month sentence for "attempted Chef-Assault" in a country-club-like setting in Newcastle by the famous bridge. He is currently downing several Brown Ales near a Thai take-out joint.