How do we know what Father Christmas has for dinner?
He posts it on Santagram.

You can check his bank account for groceries, he’s with Santander.

Why does not anyone trust Jeremy Corbyn to put up the Christmas tree?
Because it always leans to the left.

Why don’t Volkswagen hold Christmas services?
They get their readings wrong.

Why did Santa pour lemsip into the chimney?
He was coming down with the flu