Iran Barkley

[Master]

Yet he was focused enough that night to notice how pretty Ms. Graham looked. “But I was in a bad way, and I couldn’t wipe the scowl off my face,” he said. “I wasn’t capable of loving.”

Ms. Graham, whose husband died of cancer three years earlier and who had just ended a one-year relationship she described as filled with verbal and psychological abuse, said she was “not exactly in the mood to give love another try.”

But she was in a playful mood that night as she celebrated a friend’s birthday, and decided to walk up to Mr. Barkley and introduce herself. (“I think the alcohol gave me the courage,” she said jokingly.)

When his response came in the form of a meanspirited grunt, his scowl still intact, Ms. Graham blindsided the former champ with a clever combination of humor and sarcasm.

“Don’t you ever smile?” she said. “Come on, punk, are you going to take me out on that dance floor, or is the champ afraid to tell me that he doesn’t know how to dance?”

The scowl was replaced, albeit temporarily, by a quizzical smile.

“I was like, who the heck is this?” Mr. Barkley said. “She definitely got my attention.”

They danced for several minutes before returning to the bar, where they chatted over drinks.

“We spoke mostly about where we grew up, our kids and how life can be a real challenge,” said Mr. Barkley, 55, who has four daughters. “She was listening to everything I told her with a genuine look of concern on her face, so I knew I was sitting with a good-hearted person.”

From where she sat, Ms. Graham had a similar view.

“Iran first told me that night that things weren’t going so well for him,” she said. “But as we began to get deeper in conversation, I could tell that there was a loving, caring and very kind person trapped beneath all of the drama.”

[Master]

“My mom told me she was going out with this really nice guy who made her laugh,” said Anthony Pugh, 28, one of Ms. Graham’s four sons. “He was a nice guy and he made her laugh. That’s all that mattered to her because that’s what had been missing from her life.”

By now, Ms. Graham was ready to give love another chance.

“I loved how polite and respectful Iran was toward me,” she said. “He treated me the way a gentleman should treat a lady. He adores me. He makes me feel complete.”

Mr. Barkley, who said that Ms. Graham “is unlike any woman I have ever met,” credits her with permanently removing his long-worn scowl.

“My whole life, I was surrounded by takers, but Pam is a giver,” he said. “She gives from the heart and never asks for anything in return. She gives me reason to smile.”

Mr. Barkley, who has his own apartment again in the Bronx, now earns a living training young fighters at various gyms around New York. That job was created by Ms. Graham, who has also taken on the role of his business manager, recruiting potential clients and putting together his training schedule.

She also accompanies him to doctors’ appointments, and makes sure he faithfully takes the medicine prescribed for his neurological condition. She was also by his side, in her familiar role as a patient caretaker, when he was hospitalized in October 2014 after a minor stroke brought on by stress.

“I’m blessed to have her in my life,” Mr. Barkley said.

They were married Nov. 7 in an outdoor ceremony at the Marina del Rey in the Bronx on a warm, cloudy afternoon, in front of 210 guests who had spectacular views of the Manhattan skyline and the Throgs Neck and Whitestone bridges standing over calm waters.

“This is an amazing day for two people who turned each other’s lives around,” said Mia Barkley, 24, one of Mr. Barkley’s daughters. “They are both very happy, which wasn’t the case before they met.”

Ms. Graham wore an ivory lace Vera Wang gown with a matching veil, while Mr. Barkley had a gray Vera Wang tuxedo with an ivory-colored vest. As they exchanged their vows, he bounced around nervously on black leather Converse sneakers (“The old-school Chuck Taylors,” he said proudly), which were also worn by some of the younger ushers in a wedding party made up of 18 family members and close friends, including Ms. Cain-Bowles, who was matron of honor.

“Iran is easygoing, spiritual and understanding,” Ms. Cain-Bowles said. “He gives Pam the peace of mind that she never had. And she has given him new energy, a new sense of purpose.”

As Ms. Graham walked down the aisle to Leela James’s “Fall for You,” Mr. Barkley, waiting for her in front of a large white gazebo wrapped in a purple bow, wiped tears from his eyes.

“It’s a new day,” said the Rev. Quinton Massey, a Baptist minister who took part in a ceremony led by Efrain Alvarado, an acting justice of the State Supreme Court in the Bronx.

“God help them let the past go, so that the past will not be stumbling blocks in their lives,” Mr. Massey said, as the sun began to break through the clouds.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/06/fa...imageslideshow