I remember all those teenage prodigies, they were all rich kids, all went to some superduper Tennis school in Florida or something. Capriati got nicked for stealing at a shopping centre and smoking funny fags, they blamed it on the privileged Tennis upbringing. They all retired at about 27, to have babies and spend their millions.

I hoped Coco came from poverty or something, however, low and behold she lives in Florida. Enough said. ()

When I was a kid we didn't even have tennis courts, well there was two in the local park, empty the entire year around apart from these two weeks when they were packed day and night. I used to slick me hair down like Lendal and bash the racket on my bumpers before serving.