The "Can We Keep it Civil?" Thread

[Memphis]

Does anyone actually want it to be civil around here? OK I know some do. But the lengths some people will go to to have a ruck are insane. Certain people literally can't engage with one another without having a tear up. And if there's any ambiguity at all over conflict or lack there of, conflict is quickly created, consciously, subconsciously, I dunno. I know people are quick to defend themselves against these accusations, but deliberately misconstruing someones viewpoint to create opposition is rife. It's happening all over the place.

Wouldn't it be easier for certain parties to just concede that they love it. Stop pretending it's all someone elses fault, it always is. Stop pretending you want it to end, you don't.

I've gone 180 on this. A while back I was firmly of the opinion that the site needed to lose half a dozen members or so. Half a dozen or so members that fall over themselves to have a row and in the grand scheme of things do more harm to the forum than good. Now, I think fuck it. You want to treat one another that way fine, fill your boots, but please stop fucking crying about it.

[TitoFan]

Does anyone actually want it to be civil around here? OK I know some do.

Yeah... some do. This particular thread, believe it or not, was started (ill-advised I'll admit) as maybe a step in that direction. I'm hardly the only one to start such threads, as there have been numerous (and hilarious) "truce" threads started by others. The thread was immediately called "bait", which is a false accusation.

But the lengths some people will go to to have a ruck are insane. Certain people literally can't engage with one another without having a tear up.

As Mod and peacekeeper on here, I know you'll leave it at that. But I'll add that some of us can pretty much engage with each other. I'm sorry but when it's "one against the world", usually I start looking at the "one." It works this way in kindergarten (which this many times resembles)..... it works this way in any work environment.


And if there's any ambiguity at all over conflict or lack there of, conflict is quickly created, consciously, subconsciously, I dunno. I know people are quick to defend themselves against these accusations, but deliberately misconstruing someones viewpoint to create opposition is rife. It's happening all over the place.

Hey... we've been warring on here long enough that eventually a lot of that sets in. I'll not throw stones lest I crack my glass ceiling.... but as the orange-haired one once said.... "there's fault on both sides."


Wouldn't it be easier for certain parties to just concede that they love it. Stop pretending it's all someone elses fault, it always is. Stop pretending you want it to end, you don't.

You have a wonderful point there. I personally tend to go though a cycle. At first I discuss in earnest. Disagreements are part of life.... without them we wouldn't be human. As the arguments progress and go nowhere, yes.... I'll get caught up on the heat of the argument. At some point, when I see arguing is fruitless.... and attempts at being civil fail miserably.... yes, I usually then go into the cynic, fun-poking mode. And you know what? It does become a sort of twisted type of fun. Again... nothing to hide here.

I've gone 180 on this. A while back I was firmly of the opinion that the site needed to lose half a dozen members or so. Half a dozen or so members that fall over themselves to have a row and in the grand scheme of things do more harm to the forum than good. Now, I think fuck it. You want to treat one another that way fine, fill your boots, but please stop fucking crying about it.

But again, you bring up some very good points. Still, I'll revert back to my way of thinking about it.

I've had heated arguments with another poster on gun control. As heated as they get. Today we still disagree... but do so as normal human beings. I've had heated arguments with another about IQ and its "supposed correlations." Ditto on the arguments being conducted normally. I disagree with a few others on Trump. Everything gets said civilly. And so on and so forth.

If it was me (or anyone else for that matter) who was constantly at war with those "half a dozen members" you mention... and was constantly claiming not to "want it", as you said..... not to "enjoy it", as you said..... and that it was everybody else's fault...... DAMN.... I'd very likely be gone by now. And THAT, Memphis, is a fact.

In the end, it's a damn forum. Everyone keeps their shit off the main boards... and those members who don't care to see the circus on the other side simply don't go there.

[Memphis]

Does anyone actually want it to be civil around here? OK I know some do.

Yeah... some do. This particular thread, believe it or not, was started (ill-advised I'll admit) as maybe a step in that direction. I'm hardly the only one to start such threads, as there have been numerous (and hilarious) "truce" threads started by others. The thread was immediately called "bait", which is a false accusation.

But the lengths some people will go to to have a ruck are insane. Certain people literally can't engage with one another without having a tear up.

As Mod and peacekeeper on here, I know you'll leave it at that. But I'll add that some of us can pretty much engage with each other. I'm sorry but when it's "one against the world", usually I start looking at the "one." It works this way in kindergarten (which this many times resembles)..... it works this way in any work environment.


And if there's any ambiguity at all over conflict or lack there of, conflict is quickly created, consciously, subconsciously, I dunno. I know people are quick to defend themselves against these accusations, but deliberately misconstruing someones viewpoint to create opposition is rife. It's happening all over the place.

Hey... we've been warring on here long enough that eventually a lot of that sets in. I'll not throw stones lest I crack my glass ceiling.... but as the orange-haired one once said.... "there's fault on both sides."


Wouldn't it be easier for certain parties to just concede that they love it. Stop pretending it's all someone elses fault, it always is. Stop pretending you want it to end, you don't.

You have a wonderful point there. I personally tend to go though a cycle. At first I discuss in earnest. Disagreements are part of life.... without them we wouldn't be human. As the arguments progress and go nowhere, yes.... I'll get caught up on the heat of the argument. At some point, when I see arguing is fruitless.... and attempts at being civil fail miserably.... yes, I usually then go into the cynic, fun-poking mode. And you know what? It does become a sort of twisted type of fun. Again... nothing to hide here.

I've gone 180 on this. A while back I was firmly of the opinion that the site needed to lose half a dozen members or so. Half a dozen or so members that fall over themselves to have a row and in the grand scheme of things do more harm to the forum than good. Now, I think fuck it. You want to treat one another that way fine, fill your boots, but please stop fucking crying about it.

But again, you bring up some very good points. Still, I'll revert back to my way of thinking about it.

I've had heated arguments with another poster on gun control. As heated as they get. Today we still disagree... but do so as normal human beings. I've had heated arguments with another about IQ and its "supposed correlations." Ditto on the arguments being conducted normally. I disagree with a few others on Trump. Everything gets said civilly. And so on and so forth.

If it was me (or anyone else for that matter) who was constantly at war with those "half a dozen members" you mention... and was constantly claiming not to "want it", as you said..... not to "enjoy it", as you said..... and that it was everybody else's fault...... DAMN.... I'd very likely be gone by now. And THAT, Memphis, is a fact.

In the end, it's a damn forum. Everyone keeps their shit off the main boards... and those members who don't care to see the circus on the other side simply don't go there.

In part I agree. It's segregated from the main boxing discussion and anyone that wants no part of it, doesn't have to. The flip side is of course that no one ever will be part of it whilst it's a clusterfuck of nastiness with no one willing or capable of taking a backward step.

I dunno, maybe it's a the topics being discussed. Anyone that's been around long enough will tell you that the off topic board used to be a great place. Teaming with life, no conflict, laugh a minute. But it's probably worth remembering that no one was trying to pick the bones out of gun control or LGBTQ back then.

[Beanz]

For starters conflict should not be here on the Off Topic board which the General unlogged in public can see. So apologies for posting stuff on this board that is not helpful. As for taking a step back, I am more than willing to do that. I could never post again, but it would not resolve the problem. I have for months refused to use posters actual names, and yet it is now a forum game for many to go way past that and mention family members, post stuff outside of Saddos, (emails, Google searches etc). I don't share my work outside of Saddo on here, even when it is specifically boxing related, and yet now I have had to put up extra firewalls , do things like turn off all comments etc on media i produce and sites I maintain because posters insist on not just getting personal, but taking it way beyond the forum and outside of it. Crazy really.

There are also many new posters complaining outwardly about the blatant racism and stuff which is now just accepted across the boards. So it has definitely changed.

I have never encountered this kind of constant group hostility anywhere else. Certainly not in the real world. I admit I am probably pretty unrepresentative of a lot of posters because of what I do, how i live and who make up the world i live and work in, but I am not about to apologize for being myself, when it is a minority who can't handle that. I honestly don't find all this nasty conflict it fun at all. I will be very blunt and stand my ground and often that is interpreted as aggressive, even when it is clearly just plain speaking, and any humour i use just doesn't translate, so apologies for that. I again will be honest and admit that I find some posters to be so agonizingly straight (not sexually) and conventional that i find it impossible to connect with the way they think and post.

I would ask that people please PM me if they want to know something personal about my condition, my work etc, instead of hauling me over the coals publicly on here. And please don 't leave comments on my work outside, slagging off boxers, clients or the people featured in them . Just bloody ask me directly in a Pm or email or simply move on if a film or article offends or upsets you so much that you think you have a right to vent about it. I am going to give it a rest for a bit. I have been so busy with work I need the break. It does pain me on some levels because it has been brilliant work wise and I have had some fantastic experiences the last few weeks , firsts, that I would have enjoyed sharing, but then i log on here to a barrage of people insisting i must be angry, which still perplexes me, and I don't feel I can. If i am not among friends it is hardly worth doing so. I am really a very chilled out happy peaceful guy who just finds the level of dishonesty here a bit extraordinary of late. Memphis is right it used to be a great board, and was a fun place. I tried to keep that withe the retro threads etc but it seems that for some banging on about LGBT, IQ, RACE, POLITICS etc is their idea of fun. It certainly is not mine.

[Gandalf]

For starters conflict should not be here on the Off Topic board which the General unlogged in public can see. So apologies for posting stuff on this board that is not helpful. As for taking a step back, I am more than willing to do that. I could never post again, but it would not resolve the problem. I have for months refused to use posters actual names, and yet it is now a forum game for many to go way past that and mention family members, post stuff outside of Saddos, (emails, Google searches etc). I don't share my work outside of Saddo on here, even when it is specifically boxing related, and yet now I have had to put up extra firewalls , do things like turn off all comments etc on media i produce and sites I maintain because posters insist on not just getting personal, but taking it way beyond the forum and outside of it. Crazy really.

There are also many new posters complaining outwardly about the blatant racism and stuff which is now just accepted across the boards. So it has definitely changed.

I have never encountered this kind of constant group hostility anywhere else. Certainly not in the real world. I admit I am probably pretty unrepresentative of a lot of posters because of what I do, how i live and who make up the world i live and work in, but I am not about to apologize for being myself, when it is a minority who can't handle that. I honestly don't find all this nasty conflict it fun at all. I will be very blunt and stand my ground and often that is interpreted as aggressive, even when it is clearly just plain speaking, and any humour i use just doesn't translate, so apologies for that. I again will be honest and admit that I find some posters to be so agonizingly straight (not sexually) and conventional that i find it impossible to connect with the way they think and post.

I would ask that people please PM me if they want to know something personal about my condition, my work etc, instead of hauling me over the coals publicly on here. And please don 't leave comments on my work outside, slagging off boxers, clients or the people featured in them . Just bloody ask me directly in a Pm or email or simply move on if a film or article offends or upsets you so much that you think you have a right to vent about it. I am going to give it a rest for a bit. I have been so busy with work I need the break. It does pain me on some levels because it has been brilliant work wise and I have had some fantastic experiences the last few weeks , firsts, that I would have enjoyed sharing, but then i log on here to a barrage of people insisting i must be angry, which still perplexes me, and I don't feel I can. If i am not among friends it is hardly worth doing so. I am really a very chilled out happy peaceful guy who just finds the level of dishonesty here a bit extraordinary of late. Memphis is right it used to be a great board, and was a fun place. I tried to keep that withe the retro threads etc but it seems that for some banging on about LGBT, IQ, RACE, POLITICS etc is their idea of fun. It certainly is not mine.

1. If things should be off the main boards why would you accuse me of mixing sleeping pills with alcohol on the main boxing board knowing that I dealt with Benzo addiction? Cruel. You said sorry but only after calling me histrionic.
2. Who are the new posters complaining about racism?
3. Have you never been called a Nazi or a sociopath? Oh, I feel so sad for you.
4. Do you think I find this conflict 'fun'?
5. I question you simply because I don't think you have been honest.
6. I am a very fun person, but when I decided games were fun, you would mock me even for that.
7. I don't play games anymore and read books and even that gets me condemned.
8. I love life. I have been through some trials and I love life so much you wouldn't believe.
8. But in saying that I am interested in politics and in turn IQ and what have you.

One cannot deny reality because one enjoys life. Either it is true or it isn't true and that is how we solve a hypothesis.

[TitoFan]

Does anyone actually want it to be civil around here? OK I know some do.

Yeah... some do. This particular thread, believe it or not, was started (ill-advised I'll admit) as maybe a step in that direction. I'm hardly the only one to start such threads, as there have been numerous (and hilarious) "truce" threads started by others. The thread was immediately called "bait", which is a false accusation.

But the lengths some people will go to to have a ruck are insane. Certain people literally can't engage with one another without having a tear up.

As Mod and peacekeeper on here, I know you'll leave it at that. But I'll add that some of us can pretty much engage with each other. I'm sorry but when it's "one against the world", usually I start looking at the "one." It works this way in kindergarten (which this many times resembles)..... it works this way in any work environment.


And if there's any ambiguity at all over conflict or lack there of, conflict is quickly created, consciously, subconsciously, I dunno. I know people are quick to defend themselves against these accusations, but deliberately misconstruing someones viewpoint to create opposition is rife. It's happening all over the place.

Hey... we've been warring on here long enough that eventually a lot of that sets in. I'll not throw stones lest I crack my glass ceiling.... but as the orange-haired one once said.... "there's fault on both sides."


Wouldn't it be easier for certain parties to just concede that they love it. Stop pretending it's all someone elses fault, it always is. Stop pretending you want it to end, you don't.

You have a wonderful point there. I personally tend to go though a cycle. At first I discuss in earnest. Disagreements are part of life.... without them we wouldn't be human. As the arguments progress and go nowhere, yes.... I'll get caught up on the heat of the argument. At some point, when I see arguing is fruitless.... and attempts at being civil fail miserably.... yes, I usually then go into the cynic, fun-poking mode. And you know what? It does become a sort of twisted type of fun. Again... nothing to hide here.

I've gone 180 on this. A while back I was firmly of the opinion that the site needed to lose half a dozen members or so. Half a dozen or so members that fall over themselves to have a row and in the grand scheme of things do more harm to the forum than good. Now, I think fuck it. You want to treat one another that way fine, fill your boots, but please stop fucking crying about it.

But again, you bring up some very good points. Still, I'll revert back to my way of thinking about it.

I've had heated arguments with another poster on gun control. As heated as they get. Today we still disagree... but do so as normal human beings. I've had heated arguments with another about IQ and its "supposed correlations." Ditto on the arguments being conducted normally. I disagree with a few others on Trump. Everything gets said civilly. And so on and so forth.

If it was me (or anyone else for that matter) who was constantly at war with those "half a dozen members" you mention... and was constantly claiming not to "want it", as you said..... not to "enjoy it", as you said..... and that it was everybody else's fault...... DAMN.... I'd very likely be gone by now. And THAT, Memphis, is a fact.

In the end, it's a damn forum. Everyone keeps their shit off the main boards... and those members who don't care to see the circus on the other side simply don't go there.

In part I agree. It's segregated from the main boxing discussion and anyone that wants no part of it, doesn't have to. The flip side is of course that no one ever will be part of it whilst it's a clusterfuck of nastiness with no one willing or capable of taking a backward step.

I dunno, maybe it's a the topics being discussed. Anyone that's been around long enough will tell you that the off topic board used to be a great place. Teaming with life, no conflict, laugh a minute. But it's probably worth remembering that no one was trying to pick the bones out of gun control or LGBTQ back then.

@Memphis , I think it partly IS the topics being discussed. Years ago, as you correctly state, the off topic board was a great place.... laugh a minute as you say. But the topics were pretty much light-hearted and not all that much controversial.
We're all at fault by putting some of this stuff in the Off Topic, when it really belongs in the Let's Get it On or even the Exclusive Hidden Board Hahaha or what have you.

Personally, I assure you I'll refrain from starting threads with any of these sensitive topics (LGBTQ, gun control, etc) on the Off Topic. Maybe we can slowly clean it back up and people won't be afraid to go in there. I can't say we'll be best of friends and live happily ever after..... but at least we'll move the circus to another locale.

Thanks for your views, and I think they'll improve things at least a little bit.