Any good jokes ????

[Beanz]

It was only when it took three hours to finish my chicken soup that I realised the roof was leaking.

[Beanz]

Isla St Clair married Barry White .
So she changed her name to .....
Isla White.
Things didn't go so well with Barry
So she divorced him and married Bryan Ferry.
She then became known as Isla White-Ferry.

[Beanz]

Fell asleep at a party last weekend, and someone put a teabag in my mouth.
I went mental!!!!
No one treats me like a mug.

[X]

[goti71]

My mum ran a tarot card and tea leaf reading service. It was called Play your cards right with brews foresight.

[goti71]

I woke up this morning with a bit of a hangover. The alarm clock went off at about ten and the snooze button wouldn't work. I tried flipping the off switch but the thing just kept on beeping persistently. Utter agony for my brain.
So I grabbed it in my hand, stumbled over to to the kitchen and smashed it on the floor; Still it went on beeping like mad. I picked the damn thing up, examined it, and smashed it down on the floor again, and again, and again. Then I woke up, relieved to see that my precious alarm clock was still in one piece

[Master]

A young local lad called Callum has been breaking into houses and doing his laundry whilst residents are away. As if this wasn't bad enough, he has been overloading drums, leaving stuff in the pockets and selecting completely inappropriate cycles - sometimes going so far as washing mixed cottons on a delicates cycle.

Myself and a few others have had enough of this and lay in wait for Callum last night. We caught him red-handed and, I can't go into detail for legal reasons but, suffice to say, he has left the area for good now.

We can all sleep soundly in the sure knowledge that washing machines live longer with Cal gone.