I AM HALF GERBIL, HALF FLAMINCO, HALF TROUT, AND MY MOM IS HALF ITALIAN!

I CAN CUT MY GRASS IN 120 DEGREE ARIZONA HEAT AFTER DRINKIN A 12 PACK OF NEGRA MODELOS!

MY BROTHER TOOK THE BRONZE IN SPECIAL OLYMPIC BOXING, AND I CAN GET A COUPLE OF HITS IN ON HIM!

I AM THE DRUNKEN ONE!