My mother works for the courthouse, she brought home a list of the stupidest things people have said during a trial. see if I can remember a few.


attorney: "What gear were you in when you crashed the car?"
defendant: "Reeboks and Gucci sweat pants"


Attorney: "I'm gonna ask you quesions and I want all your answers to be oral"
defendant: "Ok"
Attorney: " do you know Dr. ______"
defendant: "oral"


Attorney: "when is your birthday?"
defendant: "May 17"
Attorney: "what year?"
defendant: "every year"


Attorney: "When you preformed the autopsy are you sure the man was dead?"
defendant: "yes, his brain was in a jar on my desk"
Attorney: "so there is no possible way this man was alive"
defendant: "He may possibly be alive and practicing law somewhere in the northern New Jersey area"

Attorney: "Are you sexually active?"
defendant: "no, I pretty much just lay there"

Attorney: "How did you know the man was dead?"
defendant: "He was shot through the back of the head and his body went undiscovered for close to 3 days"
Attorney: "but how could you be sure he was dead?"
defendant: "did you actually pass the bar exam?"

Thats just going on memory, there were a couple other ones