Did you not get the email about not opening emails? It's dangerous, you could contract a computer virus that can mutate into a human virus and transfer via infra red to your wireless mouse, which once your sweaty little palm touches it will transfer straight to you.

Oh and I didn't understand this one

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can

remove toilet stains and rust.

I would have thought that if it cleans the toilet you should drink loads, that way you can piss it clean