The Darwin Awards 2006

X · 01-01-2007 08:39 PM

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. They kindly and
unselfishly wipe out their own genes from the gene pool by means of their stupidity,
thereby sparing posterity the burden of putting up with their (undoubtedly equally
stupid) descendants.
Here then, are the glorious winners.

Darwin Award Winner:

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago, returned with his Vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting
there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
bizarre
fantasies.

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the
drawer...$15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is that a crime?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove
back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.

FINALLY, A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more! than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had.

**Preme** · 01-01-2007 09:19 PM

haha CC funny as fuck

There was a guy in my town comine hrom from the pub thirsty as hell, all the shops were closed; he threw a brick through a windows took a bottle of pop from the shelf put the right money on the counter with a note and left lol, next day the arrested him.