Jokes.....

[CutMeMick]

Definition of: Guts vs. Balls
Medical Distinctions we've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, heres what a 1 time medical study has defined for each as listed below...

In the first study having guts was observed and heres the result......
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom in hand, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

In the second study having balls was observed and heres the result.....
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and liquor, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since the study clearly resulted in death for both cases.....


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Learn To Pay Attention --- A Lesson Learned!!

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In veterinary medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked around the room and then said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

[Kel]

Let me think of a funny one...........I heard better than that when i was still shitting my pants

[landmine950]

Medical result of the first ones is the same..casteration