OK....
Heres some that either just got sent to me or know by heart......

A banker and his friend were fishing one afternoon when their boat began to sink.
The banker said, "I can't swim."
His friend held on to the banker and swam toward shore.
After 20 minutes, he grew tired and asked, "Do you suppose you could float alone?"
The banker replied, "Well, this is a hell of a time to ask for money."



Three nuns were talking.

The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry, and I found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh, my!" gasped the other nuns.
"What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied.
The third nun fainted.