Ok now that i'm awake i'm gonna explain a few things:

First of all, i really don't care if you liked the story or not. If you found parts of it funny or it gave you an understanding of why i hate ohio good for you. If you didn't, i wasted a few minutes of your life that you will never get back that could've been spent with friends and family so when you're on your deathbed wishing you had a few more minutes remember where they went. :P