Round 1: Oscar dances around, trying to look like he's a warrior ready to pounce... meanwhile, he also tries to smile and look good for the ringside cameras.

Round 2: Floyd throws a good punch in Oscar's direction... Oscar falls to the canvas and writhes in pain 'cause his hair has been mussed up. Referee reaches the count of 10.

Post-Fight Interview: Oscar swears that he would have gotten up had he been able to, 'cause we all know the kind of warrior he is. Somewhere, millions of real boxing fans are throwing up all at once.

Next-Day Headlines: Oscar is touted as a future Hall of Famer, because he has such a pretty smile and is totally bilingual.