We have a tradition amongst our bunch of lads, started by me, of the dirty pint. Basically it amounts to half a pint of bitter, some baileys to curdle it up nicely, then top it up with various shots of different denominations. Pernod, After Shocks, Whisky, Vodka and Gin are perennial favourites. It usually gets them caned pretty quick, so you spend the rest of the night keeping em awake, and yelling "Look Sober" whenever you try and get in a club, but c'est la vie.

My 21st birthday was pretty much a caning session, as it normally is, but its left me with a criminal record and my sole experience of spending a night in the cells. Basically, after a night of excessive drinking, which i recall involved necking four consecutive cans of Special Brew, we left the club, looking for a few laughs. Someone suggested having a dip in the sea, but my idea was to find something to sledge into the sea with. Minutes later, I was kicking the shell off a council bin, which we used to take a running sledge into the sea. Which was much fun until the police shined a flashlight over the prom. Everyone else scarpered, I jovially said "Ello Fellas." And then got banged up and given a caution for criminal damage.

So my advice is to avoid the special brew and the police. And any unidentified drinks.