Hey memphis,
Dude you gotta be careful with how u handle this. Now ur talking to hothead no.1 extraordinaire here so trust me on this, u cannot mash him! If ur lady has been hurt before, physically or mentally u gotta consider the reprecussions it could have on HER.
She's in a relationship with you, ur happy she's happy, all loved up and smilies all round. Then her ex who shes afraid of turns up and gets lumped by her new nice guy....This WILL change her view of you. Theres no guarantee that from that point on she will suspect you of violent tendencies and indeed be afraid of YOU. Not to mention what it could do to your kids and her kid to see u whoop some other guy. You think he'll ever want the man who whooped his daddy caring for him?

Dude i reckon you gotta be the bigger man the overcomer, rise above the situation n b a pillar of strength for your girl, dont clash with her on the subject, your together on this. The best way to help her through this is to understand, be united n let her no he'll never be able to hurt her again.

I no that red hot feelin u get when u wanna hurt another man badly, when u dont jus wanna beat them up, u wanna maim them n make them feel pain worse than they could ever inflict,but why? You got what he obviously is missing, you no theres no physical pain can irk ya that much.