Quote Originally Posted by Bilbo
Ok last night I was watching a film in bed and this F****** fly kept walking across my damn screen.

I twatted him away around a thousand times but the little bastad moves too fast.

Then he started landing on me, and I literally couldn't get away from him.

All night he kept landing on my head and this morning I lay in bed with the covers down to my belly button and the little f***** kept landing on me.

When I went into the kitchen he followed me and now as I type this post he is perched on top of my monitor

I've given up trying to kill him, he seems to be friendly. Just hoping a spider or something catches him soon cos I aint quick enough
there is a trick to killing ANY fly with one try, it works 100% of the time if done right

i came up with this like a year or two ago and its works perfectly

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get a book or magazine, the bigger it is the better it will work, and if it maintains its shape, like a book rather then a magazine it will be easier


get close to the fly, and balance the book on your hand horizontally, as if your hand is a table


arch the book upwards slightly


move the book upwards about 2 feet away from the fly until the book is positioned in a wat that if you turn it vertically the fly will be just in the middle



put the book as vertical as you can without it dropping off your hand, and without using another hand to support



move it towards the fly VERY slowly, until you are about 10 inches away



slam that motherfucker directly into the fly


done deal pal