in a awkward situation with a bird advice needed.

[CFH]

You never know, Professors get paid quite well. And think about all the young female students you'll be able to impress. Sometimes girls do bad things in exchange for good grades

anthropology / archyology You can give them a bone as a gift.

That was pure cheese, but it made me laugh. I'd cc you if I was sure you wouldn't prefer a sc.
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I was an undergrad the last time I saw a fit young female student even in the same department as me, it seems populated with people who can speak about history mainly because they lived through most of it.
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Consider yourself lucky, most of my history classes (probably because I'm an undergrad) are populated with people who are convinced that they, by virtue of that fact that they are 18-22 years old, know everything there is to know, and would love to explain to you how the U.S. is the root of all evil in the world and what they are telling you must be true because they read it on a website.