A mates older brother engaged in the following activities last year*
On a quite night in he consumed two bottles of the local shop's finest cheapest Buckfast...
Having drank his fill and begun to take a more liberal view on the world's set laws and morals he text his girlfriend saying he'd be over in a minute and to wait for him in bed....
However he encountered a staggering predicament....His brother had just left and therefore he was without legal means of transportation. As he was about to text his girlfriend of his inability to drive to her location he received a "descriptive" text from his girlfriend.

With new motivation he grabbed his keys and headed for his newly modified car...
From his version of events he was going ok for the first mile, although holes in various walls along the way suggest otherwise. On the second mile he ran into a telephone pole and virtually tore the car in two. Quite upset by the whole situation he walked the 2 miles home and got on the phone to the guards and within an hour had made a statement on how someone had robbed his car!

To top that off he hitched a lift from the same officers to his girlfriends house, whom i believe is currently pregnant...

(*HitmanDonny does not condone or affiliate himself with any behaviour stated, although he may find it incredibly funny.)