Bilbo requests fashion advice

[Kev]

I already thought of a playful routine for the belt as well.

If a girl notices it :

"oh yeah, my belt... *start stroking/petting it*, good old whiskers,,,, she was such a darling.. My neices just lover her,, so when she died I just couldn't bring myself bury her..."

*bang, girl punches you in the arm*

I'm sure Mick will have the goods when he gets here..

I was thinking of getting one in elephant or Zebra. I don't think my tale of how I spent a week poaching on the Serengeti would go down very well

[LEGION]

Just put on a nice collar with a leather leash trailing behind and make sure you have vaccinations in order and go out to the park. Also, make sure you shave your ass so no dingleberry's are hanging about. Girls are suckers for a lonely little dog needing a companion; especially ugly ones who whine alot. Hope this helps mutant boy.

[Cortez The Killer]

Well, Bilbo. Even though I am greatly upset by you selling out, and it seems like the old, witty, cynical hermit Bilbo may be gone for good. However, once your confidence is completely shot by a female or two rejecting your advances, all will return to normal, so I will still offer advice I have had many attractive girls/women's in the past year ranging from 18-early 40's and of many different ethnicities, styles, socio-economic status, and temperaments. I have even had a few gay men come on to me, which I find more flattering then an attractive girl/women going slutty over me nowadays!

It is less about what you wear then how you present yourself or show who you are. But clothes/cologne/accessories do help show that, after all many things in the world are based on the superficial and external perception, and picking up women is one of them. So..

Dont wear anything you wont feel comfortable in because no woman wants a man to walk up to them who seems unsure of themselves. I know you are a bit older then I, but a style that can work into the late 20's-early 30's is a nice pair of slim fitting (but not ass grabbingly tight) jeans, a graphic thermal long-sleeve or tee shirt. Something along the lines of "Affliction" but in my opinion that brand is so overdone right now and the designs go too far. You dont want to be another guy walking around with a flaming-tribal-skull or retro-trendy camo design with a celtic tree in the middle, especially if you are around 30. I am in college and see a lot of guys walking around in ass-grabbing jeans and an extra small affliction shirt and leather bracelets but you can tell they are trendy-bandwagon tools and only appeal to girls ages 18-19 who dont know any better. A woman (24 and over) would never give them a second look, and I will assume you are after women over young college girls (though I know you are after as young as you can get, you degenerate pervert )


Maybe you should save the money it would cost for all the clothes, colognes, watches, and buy a Slovakian mail order bride instead? They don't eat much and if you chain them to the bed they can't run away.

[El Kabong]

GQ....read it then go buy similar style threads for cheaper but that will get you the look you want. Go to outlet stores...Polo outlets are the shit as are Brooks Brothers.

Hell if you go into a real Brooks Brothers #1 be ready to drop hella cash and #2 they will tell you what looks good it's their job

[Kirkland Laing]

Speak to female friends and relatives. If you're trying to go from average scruffy bloke to edgily well-dressed overnight you stand a big chance of looking silly. Ask females you know who are over 20 and under 60.

[SigmaMu]

You can walk around with one of these

[Dizaster]

You can walk around with one of these

Wearing it around all day will at least help you get over what people think of you... And probably get you bashed though

[No Contest]

Get yourself a nice hat or something, I like to sport a Pork Pie hat or a Bowler. Bowler hats arent for everyone though. Also putting some shoes on those hairy feet would help.

[CountryBoy]

Just put on a nice collar with a leather leash trailing behind and make sure you have vaccinations in order and go out to the park. Also, make sure you shave your ass so no dingleberry's are hanging about. Girls are suckers for a lonely little dog needing a companion; especially ugly ones who whine alot. Hope this helps mutant boy.