Shannon Matthews rescued!

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A local paedophile ring has made the unprecedented step of issuing a statement after being accused of hiding Shannon Matthews for two weeks.

They said 'Fuck off - we do have some standards you know'

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Following the success of the West Yorkshire Police in finding Shannon Matthews, the Portuguese Police have gone back to the McCanns villa to look under the bed

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Whats the difference between Madeline McCann and Shannon Matthews?

People actually wanted Madeline to be found.

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Shannon Matthews has been found alive and unharmed.

Thank goodness she was too ugly to molest.

[X]

I was reading about Shannon Matthews' mum earlier today, that she's got 7 kids by 5 different fathers. Personally, i think that's fucking disgusting...

I mean what man would want to shag her twice??

[X]

Shannon Matthews, the first Madeleine McCann tribute act.

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Shannon Matthews parents are happy that their daughter has been found safe.......

But on the other hand they are sad they hadn't managed to raise the £300,000 they wanted for a nice new house, boat and holiday.

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Shannon Matthews has been found safe and well. Her first words were, "Have Newcastle won yet?" "Fuck off," replies the copper, "You've only been missing a month..."

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Statement from Shannon Matthews Grandparents:

"yes we saw something under the bed - we just thought the ugly thing was a rat"

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Shannon Matthews will have had all her self esteem and confidence destroyed by the events of the last three weeks. She couldnt even get a shag off a paedophile !

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Now that Shannon Matthews has been found,
Police have started issuing raffle tickets to find her dad

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Shannon Matthews mother gave her the pet name Bullseye.


When she conceived half the blokes in Dewsbury had a shot at it.

[Kev]

I don't think jokes about child sex abuse are actually funny. Judging by the complete lack of responses I'm guessing neither does anybody else.

Jeremy Beadle, terrorism, religion and practically anything else is fine with me but I don't find this stuff funny at all

[X]

Sorry you feel like that but a sick joke is a sick joke is a sick joke .... once you start trying to define which ones are allowable, you're always going to be wrong because someone else will have a different grading system to you. Once paramters are defined, there is no such thing as a sick joke.

[Kev]

Sorry you feel like that but a sick joke is a sick joke is a sick joke .... once you start trying to define which ones are allowable, you're always going to be wrong because someone else will have a different grading system to you. Once paramters are defined, there is no such thing as a sick joke.

I didn't say these jokes wern't allowable, I just said they wern't funny

As for parameters and being right or wrong, again you can be right but still not funny.

I enjoy all of your other stuff, just jokes about abused or feared murdured kids is not something that makes me laugh.

Now Jeremy Beadle or suicide bombers on the other hand........